From the Babylon Bee:
U.S.—Trump is polling high among an unexpected group: libertarians, who were energized and drawn to Trump’s cause after the New York Times revealed that he paid as little as $750 in federal taxes some years.
“The less theft, the better!”
Libertarians across the country paid tribute to Trump’s accomplishment by firing their AR-15s into the air and doing hard drugs, though this is what they were already planning on doing anyway.
Jo Jorgenson’s poll numbers have plummeted as a result of the revelation, with both of her supporters saying they’re switching to Trump.