From the Babylon Bee:
U.S.—The party that wants to take over and manage your healthcare cheered today as their political archnemesis, President Donald Trump, contracted COVID, hoping and praying to the godless universe that he would die.
“We hope Trump dies of this disease. Oh, and also, we’d like to take over your healthcare,” said one man outside the White House holding a “DIE, TRUMP, DIE!” sign. “Don’t worry — it will be totally fine. We will be completely unbiased and will not prioritize healthcare for our political allies. You will have nothing to worry about, as long as you believe the correct things.”