Nation Braces For Most Peaceful Protests Yet

From The Babylon Bee:

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—As the Derek Chauvin trial continued this week, the nation began bracing for the most peaceful protests so far. 

“We’re getting ready for some really peaceful protests,” said one business owner as he boarded up his storefront. “We ain’t seen nothin’ yet when it comes to just how peaceful Black Lives Matter can be.”

While last summer, BLM unleashed their mostly peaceful brand of protests, they said at the end of this trial, they will be unleashing their most powerful weapon: entirely peaceful protests, involving even more peaceful bricks, Molotovs, and more peaceful deaths.

Black Lives Matter representatives announced that that they will definitely be rioting if Derek Chauvin is acquitted. They also said they would riot if he is convicted. Additionally, they said they would just be rioting no matter what so everyone should get ready.

“We will riot if Chauvin is acquitted,” said one spokesperson for the movement gathered outside the courthouse in Minneapolis. “And also, you know, if he’s convicted. Yep, we’ll still be rioting then. In fact, we’ll be rioting no matter what happens, so buckle up, America. You thought last summer was bad? Get ready for peace.”

10 responses to “Nation Braces For Most Peaceful Protests Yet

  1. if I make it..the priceless look on these useful idiots faces when they overturn the current system and the new “Boss” starts eliminating them and the rest of the competition..


  2. Richard Stomper

    “While last summer, BLM unleashed their mostly peaceful brand of protests,….” BLM, what BLM? The months of uninterrupted riots in 2020 were solely precipitated by ‘white commie Inc., and that violence executed by their easily manipulated plantation slaves/non-white foot soldiers.
    And in turn, ‘white commie Inc. is wholly controlled by the democrat wing of the D.C. Uniparty. “BLM unleashed,” what a laugh!


  3. Larry Lickspittle

    The Babylon Bee is a website completely made up of SATIRE, identical to The Onion, you STUPID FUCK.


  4. You know you live in a fictitious nation, when daily activities read like a fiction novel about an apocalypse. Here we are. Imagine where we will be.


  5. Sean:

    That actually is a work of fiction. The Babylon Bee is a satire site. Or more accurately, a prophecy site, as more of their fake stories turn out to be true than on CNN or MSNBC.


  6. Larry, you’ve missed your meds. Calm the fuck down. Trust that there are a lot of other places for your concern.
    In any case, Robert – let’s pray that this isn’t prophetic. But I fear it is.



    Minnesota: Farmer-Labor Party. Hubert Humphrey. Eugene McCarthy. ELCA(let’s ordain queers and dykes). Legions of Somali refugees. And on and on. Let it burn. Let it disintegrate as all Blue Hives should.
    Here in Kootenai County, ID the ANTIFA from Insleeland were threatening to come over to Coeur d’Alene and burn it to the ground. The local unorganized militia mustered over 100 volunteers, armed to the teeth, who strolled around the business district in full view of the Red-Diaper-Doper-Baby Hagadone press corps and the leftists on the CDA City Council.
    When the black-garbed, red-scarfed Marxist showed up, they beat feet. The local Trump-hating Wokesters, Karens, and Beta-males ended up with egg on their faces. More sportiness is around the corner. We’re ready. Bleib ubrig.


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