From comedian Jay Leno:
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, DC. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
From comedian George Carlin (1937-2008):
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
From comedian Bernard Manning (1930-2007):
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
From comedian Joan Rivers (1933-2014):
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
From Bart Simpson, immortal cartoon kid:
Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
From comedian and actor Chico Marx (1887-1961):
There ain’t no Sanity Clause!
From comedian Johnny Carson (1925-2005):
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
