Straight Line Logic’s New Cryptocurrency! by Robert Gore

Money for Nothing!

Get In On the Next Big Thing In Cryptocurrencies! Straight Line Logic Announces the Bobcoin! Order Today!

It’s never too late to join the most stupendous trend of a generation, still in its infancy. Straight Line Logic announces the issuance of the Bobcoin, a Cryptocurrency that will use Blockchain Technology! Yes, that’s right, a Cryptocurrency that will use Blockchain Technology!

Here’s a chance for you to exchange all your legacy moneys, currencies, and debt instruments—precious metals, credit cards, debit cards, money orders, checks, traveler’s checks, cashiers’ checks, second mortgages, euros, pounds, yen, yuan, rubles or good old fashioned Federal Reserve notes—for the exciting, innovative, liberating Cryptocurrency of the future, the Bobcoin. Count on it, the Bobcoin will be the next Cryptocurrency they’re talking about at cocktail parties and bongathons.

Space on the Straight Line Logic server is limited. We’ll only be able to issue 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Bobcoins before we run out. The pace of issuance is controlled by an algorithm written by a group of bright eighth graders in Mrs. Mendies’ math class at Baltimore’s Ivar Kreuger Middle School. Act now! The initial price of $1000 per Bobcoin can only be held open for a short time. Our astrologers project that once these treasures are free to trade in the Cryptocurrency market, they’ll rocket to $100,000, a 9,900 % return. Not bad for the first half-hour!

And don’t forget, Bobcoins are a Cryptocurrency that uses Blockchain Technology!

Yes, I want to get fabulously wealthy by owning a computer entry!

Name:

Home address:

Email Addres:

Asylum address:

Credit card number (Straight Line Logic encrypts nothing and has no security policy):

IQ:

Act today and we’ll discount your first Bobcoin to $999!

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27 responses to “Straight Line Logic’s New Cryptocurrency! by Robert Gore

  1. Dude! … That’s a good Middle School!

    But, I’ve only got $1850.00 right now, and I want more than one BOBcoin. Kryptos is Krazy right now!

    I may need to borrow some money from my father. How long can I get the discounted price?

    Like

  2. “Unlike many websites, Straight Line Logic does not solicit donations. If you’re going to lay out your hard-earned money, you should get something in exchange.”
    Based on this true statement and the solicitation flier–> much trust will be forthcoming–>many takers. You should be shortly announcing your second early retirement. I would enjoy coming to the party and sharing financial success/mistakes I have made stories.

    Like

  3. Robert,

    I remember one time in a comment I slipped in a tease that you were using cooked line logic…but now I finally got ya!

    Thanks for the cheeky tongue.

    Like

  4. Pingback: Straight Line Logic’s New Cryptocurrency! by Robert Gore | NCRenegade

  5. Pingback: Straight Line Logic’s New Cryptocurrency! by Robert Gore – Southern Nation News

  6. Love the name of the new coin……
    Signed, Bob
    Suggestion: Depict the South end of a Northbound horse on the reverse side, so users can kiss their money goodbye.

    Like

  7. Pingback: SLL Goes Crypto! | Western Rifle Shooters Association

  8. DWEEZIL THE WEASEL

    Well, the Dutch had Tulipmania. For now, I’ll stick with lead and other precious metals. And, my tribe and I will keep a full larder of food and water for us and our animals.

    Like

  9. Try adding a reserve clause, like if you buy one you can loan fifty. Might get some institutional buyers.

    Like

  10. Can you wait while I mortgage my house?

    Like

  11. As soon as I hear from the Nigerian prince I am helping regain his inheritance I will be getting a ton of Bobcoin!

    Like

  12. WisconsinBadger1972

    “But wait, there’s more! Be one of the first 100 callers and receive the Ginsu Knife set absolutely for free! (Just pay over inflated Shipping & Handling charges) “

    Like

  13. Finally at the end of my live (or close to it) an idea I can get behind. Forth coming are my IOU’s for your product. At last my kids can gain the inheritance they so richly (a pun there) deserve. Sign me up as ‘going out with a whimper’.
    BTW, the IOU is in the mail.

    Like

  14. Pingback: Bobcoin is YOUR future! | IowaDawg has Interesting Shit

  15. Love the topic today. At the dinner table, half my family still cannot get their heads around bitcoin, and what it is, and isn’t. Bobcoin is both brilliant, and tragic. It’s like watching that old movie, The Red Shoes. The critics always rave about it, but then you watch it, and long for the 2 and half hours of your life you’ll never get back. So some bitch kills to be prima ballerina, so what? Or, arguably the worst movie ever made and remade, The Great Gatsby. Bitch runs over and kills man, friends conceal the murder. This is a classic? It’s not even well told. Because the lottery is so high, I spent a couple of dollars on it, and one of my sons went nuts. I smiled thinking how I had raised him right. He also thinks bitcoin is some kind of suckers game, which it will be, when the economy does its vampire trick. You know, suck the blood out of everyone it meets at night, and sleeps all day. And when the electric grid goes down, it’s dying time. I’ll tell the grandchildren stories about bobcoin around the campfire, when we can safely light one.

    Like

  16. What’s the exchange rate on KenCoins?

    Like

  17. Mr. Gore, 07 January, 2018

    It was with some interest that I read of your new IPO(?) of crypto-currency.
    To be honest, my first reading of that missive was posted on TBP. I enjoyed the article a good bit. Thanks.

    However, again to be honest, I thought there was a major aspect that most are overlooking, not unlike the proverbial four-leaf clover. (no reference to Eric Peters terminologies). If you will allow me, I’d like to ‘unpack’ (yes, I know, ‘unpack’ has already become an hackneyed term) my ideas for you.

    One incy wincy change I am offering.
    The name needs to be changed to BOOBCOIN.
    Just add one little letter.

    Please let me explain why.
    You see there are already many cryptos out, already. They seem to cater to the hip, upscale, semi-sophistocates; the urbanites. The cryptos are new, cool and jazzy. But, you see, it excludes a whole class that might be a better niche for such an opportunity. That niche is the underground economy.

    What if BOOBCOIN was the preferred crypto of this class; those whose activities are inherently dangerous and secretive? It might include the gamblers, book makers, pimps, prostitutes and more.
    What if the convenience store guys, the liquor store owners, loan sharks and strip bars wanted and
    needed a currency that could be right at the finger tips on a disposable phone, without losing a ‘dime’?
    A mugging, “no problem, here’s my phone, good luck buddy, oh and by the way, it’s tracking you now”.

    There’d be no bulky cash to deal with, no fuss no muss. There’d be instant pay instant payments and deposits and no face to face meeting to worry about. No pictures or meetings to be recorded by the PoPo and other pesky detriments to free enterprise.

    Now, about the BOOBCOIN logo. I’d suggest (you’ll have to imagine this part), a capital letter ‘C’
    rotated to the left by ninety degrees, like an open cup. Then, a circle in the middle and a dot in the middle of that. Ok? It should kinna look like a BOOB. Thus BOOBCOIN logo is born.

    Then, just to get the ball rolling, there’d have to be correct terminology about this BOOBCOIN. Some examples could be:

    1. “How didja do in that last heist Joey” : “Man, I’m needin’ an over the shoulder boulder holder now.”

    2. A job pays well = You’ll need a D cup tomorrow.
    3. Show me the money = see these knockers?
    4. I need a loan = I need a wet nurse.
    5. I’m broke = tuckin’ ’em in my waist band
    6. “You gotta pay up front honey” = put the bra on the nightstand
    7. smaller amounts than one BOOBCOIN = clevage
    8. To make a deposit = getting a boob job
    9. not spending money = sore nipples
    10. low on cash = saggin’ a little

    And instead of block chain technology, BOOBCOIN would use two (2) secure methods: the chain-gang and cellblock.
    What could be better?

    Best regards from you humble savant,
    Grog

    Like

  18. Good one Robert, the only ones to get rich are the initial people who put it up. That is why there several thousand Bitcoin competitors now. By the way, in ABQ now working, live in South Valley. Off Gulchonline.

    Liked by 1 person

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