Category Archives: Humor

Poll Finds Most People OK With Raising Taxes On Other People, by The Babylon Bee

U.S.—In a stunning new poll, Americans indicated they are OK with a 70% marginal tax rate, indicating that since the hefty taxes would only apply to other people and not themselves, they are alright with the extremely high taxes.

“See, a lot of people think the proposed 70% tax rate is way too high,” said one woman in California. “But what they don’t understand is that the 70% is only on really rich people—in other words, not me. Let’s crank it up to 90, 100, or 110%  even. I don’t mind in the slightest.”

Americans all over the country suggested they are OK with a majority of the people voting to take a minority of the people’s money, as long as they are not part of that minority.

“I am a very generous person, so I believe everyone else needs to pay their fair share,” said Lyle Hartright of Maine. “Everyone that isn’t me, I mean.”

“These are stunning results,” said one analyst. “We always believed that Americans were generous, but we never knew how generous. To offer to raise taxes to 70% or more on other people just goes to show how much compassion people have.”

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You Should Be Laughing At Them!

You Should Be Laughing At Them!

They get us into wars and never get us out. They get us into debt and never get us out. They want to run your life, but couldn’t run a lemonade stand.

And they laugh at us?

They’re the establishment, the powers that be–call them what you will. Guided by the unshakeable belief that they’re entitled to rule, they’ve made a holy mess of America…and the world. Their Ivy League credentials only confirm that degrees are often bestowed on idiots.

In the Kingdom of Lies, ruled by the Arrogant and the Absurd, truth is an enemy. So are satire and humor. If the pompous proclamations and inevitable ineptitude of these bozos leave you unsure whether to laugh, cry, or emigrate, why not laugh?

What if the Fountain of Youth fell into the wrong hands?

If there were a way to reverse aging, the establishment’s decrepit fossils would want it. Brilliant researcher Ted Wirth and his team of scientists discover a hormone that extends the lives of lab mice. The government comes a calling…the powers that be have a plan.

In war-torn Syria, among the many nations keeping the fate of Syria out of the hands of Syrians, a battle rages. Or does it? A suicide mission destroys a vital American industrial asset. It’s terrorism. Or is it? The world’s grand masters are moving the pieces in a game only they understand. Or do they?

An author that can generate the phrase “Blow it out your ass, Mr. President. Send in Vice President Winslow.” and make it believable gains my immediate applause and appreciation. To do so within a novel that so explicitly describes the pure evil wielded by the power brokers and administrators of our world and the degradations heaped on the rest of mankind with no thought of their own moral depravity, is genius.

Teddy H. Jones, Amazon reader review

Are you looking for…

A satire that will make you laugh, think, shake your head, wince, and howl with rage…sometimes at the same time?

Characters you’d like to know? And characters you’d like to banish from the planet?

A story with something to say about good and evil…without preaching or screeching?

Answers to all your questions about geopolitics, with plenty of pages left over for intrigue, action, romance, sex and satire?

You’ve just found all of the above…and much more!

Read Prime Deceit in an afternoon…it will stay with you for years.

Take it from readers’ enthusiastic comments on Amazon.

I could easily see this book as a big budget Hollywood production with an A list cast. It would need almost no alterations. It is tightly crafted, compelling, current, dramatic, and thrilling. Apart from its style, this book perfectly reflects the skepticism of the public in regards to the most powerful institutions of our day.

Robert Gore is a find, and a gifted writer.
Titus Flavius

Finally a book that is well written fiction based on plausible characters, not caricatures, without the blatant preaching of a thinly-veiled conspiracy theory; a book to actually enjoy reading.
John

Full disclosure, I also had received a pre-publication ebook from the author for review. Just as another poster did, I also purchased the book because I like it so much. Yes, I got it free and then went and bought it anyway!

I would classify this book as a real page turner and like all of Robert’s books, once you start it, you simply do not want to put it down.
Jean Dunne

This novel grabbed me from the first page and didn’t let go till the last. In fact, I’m not sure it has let go yet . The plot is chilling because it is so plausible. The rejuvenation technology is not so far from actual current research, and the depth of corruption of the elites seems right in line with current reality as well. Long after finishing it, my mind keeps coming back to it like a tongue testing a sore tooth. This or something much like it could really be happening.
David or Judy Wood

Strike a revolutionary blow against the powers that be!

Amazon Paperback

Kindle Ebook

CNN Publishes Real News Story For April Fools’ Day, from The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA—Fooling thousands of readers in a prank that the cable news organization said was “just for fun,” CNN published a real news story for April Fools’ Day this year.
The story simply contained a list of facts, with no embellishment, editorializing, or invented details. The story also didn’t cite shaky “anonymous sources” and only quoted firsthand witnesses to the event. It was completely factual without any errors whatsoever.

Baffled CNN fans immediately knew something was up.

“I was reading this story, and I was like, ‘Wait, what is this?'” said one man in New York who relies on CNN for his fake news every morning. “They really got me good. Then I looked up at the calendar and I realized I’d been duped. A classic gag!”

“Those little rascals!” he added, shaking his head and laughing goodnaturedly. “As long as they return to their regularly scheduled fake news tomorrow, we’re good. We’re good.”

You Should Be Laughing At Them!

You Should Be Laughing At Them!

They get us into wars and never get us out. They get us into debt and never get us out. They want to run your life, but couldn’t run a lemonade stand.

And they laugh at us?

They’re the establishment, the powers that be–call them what you will. Guided by the unshakeable belief that they’re entitled to rule, they’ve made a holy mess of America…and the world. Their Ivy League credentials only confirm that degrees are often bestowed on idiots.

In the Kingdom of Lies, ruled by the Arrogant and the Absurd, truth is an enemy. So are satire and humor. If the pompous proclamations and inevitable ineptitude of these bozos leave you unsure whether to laugh, cry, or emigrate, why not laugh?

What if the Fountain of Youth fell into the wrong hands?

If there were a way to reverse aging, the establishment’s decrepit fossils would want it. Brilliant researcher Ted Wirth and his team of scientists discover a hormone that extends the lives of lab mice. The government comes a calling…the powers that be have a plan.

In war-torn Syria, among the many nations keeping the fate of Syria out of the hands of Syrians, a battle rages. Or does it? A suicide mission destroys a vital American industrial asset. It’s terrorism. Or is it? The world’s grand masters are moving the pieces in a game only they understand. Or do they?

An author that can generate the phrase “Blow it out your ass, Mr. President. Send in Vice President Winslow.” and make it believable gains my immediate applause and appreciation. To do so within a novel that so explicitly describes the pure evil wielded by the power brokers and administrators of our world and the degradations heaped on the rest of mankind with no thought of their own moral depravity, is genius.

Teddy H. Jones, Amazon reader review

Are you looking for…

A satire that will make you laugh, think, shake your head, wince, and howl with rage…sometimes at the same time?

Characters you’d like to know? And characters you’d like to banish from the planet?

A story with something to say about good and evil…without preaching or screeching?

Answers to all your questions about geopolitics, with plenty of pages left over for intrigue, action, romance, sex and satire?

You’ve just found all of the above…and much more!

Read Prime Deceit in an afternoon…it will stay with you for years.

Take it from readers’ enthusiastic comments on Amazon.

I could easily see this book as a big budget Hollywood production with an A list cast. It would need almost no alterations. It is tightly crafted, compelling, current, dramatic, and thrilling. Apart from its style, this book perfectly reflects the skepticism of the public in regards to the most powerful institutions of our day.

Robert Gore is a find, and a gifted writer.
Titus Flavius

Finally a book that is well written fiction based on plausible characters, not caricatures, without the blatant preaching of a thinly-veiled conspiracy theory; a book to actually enjoy reading.
John

Full disclosure, I also had received a pre-publication ebook from the author for review. Just as another poster did, I also purchased the book because I like it so much. Yes, I got it free and then went and bought it anyway!

I would classify this book as a real page turner and like all of Robert’s books, once you start it, you simply do not want to put it down.
Jean Dunne

This novel grabbed me from the first page and didn’t let go till the last. In fact, I’m not sure it has let go yet . The plot is chilling because it is so plausible. The rejuvenation technology is not so far from actual current research, and the depth of corruption of the elites seems right in line with current reality as well. Long after finishing it, my mind keeps coming back to it like a tongue testing a sore tooth. This or something much like it could really be happening.
David or Judy Wood

Strike a revolutionary blow against the powers that be! 

Amazon Paperback

Kindle Ebook

California Man Sentenced To 20 Years For Possession Of Crazy Straw, from The Babylon Bee

LOS ANGELES, CA—El Segundo man Barry Walker wept bitterly in court today after a judge sentenced him to 20 years in state prison for possession of a crazy straw.

Walker was arrested in January after police pulled him over, searched his car, and found a supply of crazy straws in his glove compartment. After administering their customary beating, the LAPD arrested him and brought him in, where he was charged with Illegal Possession of a Controlled Crazy Straw, in violation of new California law.

“The suspect had a loaded, unsecured crazy straw in his car, one with a lot of little loopies and everything,” the arresting officer had told reporters back in January. “When he couldn’t produce a valid CCW, we realized we were dealing with a dangerous madman.”

The California court system fast-tracks significant crazy straw prosecution cases over “less significant” criminal cases like murder or rape, and so Walker was convicted in under a month.

“We hope Mr. Walker’s strict sentencing today serves as a warning to criminals: the state of California does not take crazy straw possession lightly. Please, if you know a loved one who still has an unregistered crazy straw—sometimes known on the street as ‘silly straws’ or ‘loop de doos’—turn them in.”

“If you see something, say something,” he added.

https://www.theburningplatform.com/2019/03/14/california-man-sentenced-to-20-years-for-possession-of-crazy-straw/

‘We Must Resist Trump!’ Cries Woman Whose Life Hasn’t Changed In The Slightest Since Trump Was Elected, from The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—During an International Women’s Day protest Friday, local woman Jenny Martin declared, “We must resist Trump!” even though her life hasn’t changed in the slightest since Trump was elected.

“We cannot let this become the new norm!” shouted the woman whose life was just about the same as it was under Obama.

“Hate is the new norm, and we can’t stand for this!” she cried, though she’d not personally witnessed any acts of extreme hate during Trump’s time in office. “Women, we must band together to resist this regime that has totally devastated all of womankind by not really changing our lives much at all!”

She pointed out that Trump’s “reign of terror” has included horrible oppression for women, such as better and more frequent employment opportunities, higher wages, and a stronger economy. “Trump is literally oppressing all of us by making us more prosperous and privileged, turning us into the very thing we hate!”

“Resist! Resist!” she chanted through a megaphone.

At publishing time, Martin had reluctantly confirmed that her life had in fact gotten marginally better over the past two years.

https://www.theburningplatform.com/2019/03/10/we-must-resist-trump-cries-woman-whose-life-hasnt-changed-in-the-slightest-since-trump-was-elected/

Cersei Lannister Enters Crowded Field Of 2020 Democratic Candidates, from The Babylon Bee

KING’S LANDING—Entering an already crowded field of 2020 Democratic candidates, Cersei Lannister, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms announced Tuesday her candidacy for President of the United States of America.

Lannister’s vicious politics and position as a fierce, powerful, independent feminist icon have already positioned her at the front of the pack. Her cynical, ruthless rise to power mirrors that of many of the Democratic candidates currently running as well, making her an even better fit to hold high office for the Democrats.

“After much deliberation, I’ve decided I can help the nation best by running for president as a Democrat in 2020,” she said in a speech delivered to a mass of peasants in the shadow of the Red Keep. “Their platform of handing more and more power and money to the elite few in government, no matter who has to be killed to make it happen, is exactly in line with my core values.”

“When you run for president, you win or you die,” she added ominously.

“Cersei’s the perfect Democratic candidate: brutal, thirsty for power, a big-government advocate—she’ll fit right in,” said one political pundit. “She’s even OK with killing kids for political gain. Frankly, her position on child murder isn’t quite extreme enough for most of the Democrats nowadays, but maybe a centrist is really what they need.”

Cersei has also been praised for blowing up innocent people with explosions, a staple of the Democratic platform since President Obama’s term.

At publishing time, every other Democratic candidate was found dead under suspicious circumstances.

https://www.theburningplatform.com/2019/03/06/cersei-lannister-enters-crowded-field-of-2020-democratic-candidates/