From the Babylon Bee:
ALBANY, NY—Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York has extended a generous offer to house Trump at one of his state’s finest nursing homes.
“We’ve got ample space, and it’s really quiet around here — honestly, it’s to die for,” Governor Cuomo said. “We have plenty of beds, and rest assured, you’ll be well taken care of, Mr. President.”
“Many people are using Trump’s illness to divide, but it’s time to unite and come together as Americans, and this is just my small way to do just that.”
At publishing time, Cuomo had offered instead to just send COVID patients directly to the White House to cough on everybody if that better suited the president’s busy schedule.