From The Babylon Bee:
ATLANTA, GA—A CDC scientist has called on the nation to cancel Thanksgiving, but many are suspicious of the announcement, since the scientist looks remarkably like a turkey wearing a lab coat and sciency-looking glasses.
The scientist also said we should cancel Christmas gatherings, especially ones where poultry is traditionally served.
“We all must make sacrifices,” Gobble continued. “And, honestly, with the way things are looking, we should probably cancel Thanksgiving next year, and even the year after that. In fact, maybe we make a new holiday where eating a bird isn’t the main event. I’m just saying.”
“Hey, wait a minute!” shouted one man at the press conference. “He’s a turkey! Get him!” The man was thrown out for being racist and anti-science.