From The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congresspeople from both parties condemned the attack on the Capitol that occurred Wednesday, pointing out that they’re the only criminals allowed in the building.
“We would like to remind Americans that we are the only looters allowed in here,” said Nancy Pelosi after order was restored to the House. “Remember, you must show your official congressperson identification to prove you’re an approved looter to get in here. Unauthorized looters will be removed from Capitol grounds.”
“Now, who wants to start some foreign wars?”
After the violent criminals and looters had left the building, Congress resumed voting on acts to inflate our currency, steal more money from Americans, and continue aggression against foreign countries for no reason.