From The Babylon Bee:
U.S.—Ron Paul has been banned from Facebook for inciting a dangerous amount of liberty, freedom, and personal responsibility on his page.
“Our Community Standards clearly warn people and pages against inciting people to be free, live their lives, and take responsibility for their actions,” said Mark Zuckerberg. “Ron Paul continued to violate these rules by stoking the fires of liberty among the young people of our nation. Now, young minds can be safe from Paul’s radical idea that each of us should decide how to live our lives and that we should do unto others as we would want them to do unto us.”
Sensing the end for freedom and liberty was nigh, Ron Paul grabbed his bugout bag, dug up his hidden stores of gold buried throughout his town, and drove to his secret compound at an undisclosed location in South Dakota to wait out the fall of the Republic. “Maybe the next generation will be ready for liberty,” he said as the bunker door closed behind him.