From The Babylon Bee:
Equality in America is a huge problem. I’m not talking about equality of opportunity: I’m talking about the kind of equality that comes when everyone who makes more money than I do pays their fair share, being brought down to my level by the blind justice of the government.
Politicians want to distract you from who the real enemy is: everyone who makes more than I do. If we can just force them to give the government hundreds of millions of dollars, all our problems will be solved. What will they do with it? Who cares! As long as everyone who dares earn more money than me is cut down to size, I’ll be much happier.
Now, I know that I make a lot more money than 99% of the world and the majority of the nation. But I’m not the problem. I already pay too much. People who make more than I do—they’re the problem. Take all your hate toward the government and taxes and redirect it toward people who make more money than you.
Not me, of course—everyone who pulls in even a dollar more than I do annually is the real villain here.