Army Unsure Why Their New Slogan ‘America Is Racist, You Should Die For It’ Isn’t Getting Traction

From The Babylon Bee:

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FORT FARRAKHAN, CA — A U.S. Army spokesperson admitted concern today after the recent drop in recruitment numbers, despite the unveiling of the new “America Is Racist, You Should Die For It” slogan.

Colonel Rip Skirtsteak said the Army will continue its push for diversity in hopes of drawing more new recruits. “It’s just really hard to find recruits who hate this country as they should but are also willing to put their lives on the line to protect it,” Skirtsteak said as he adjusted his rainbow flag lapel pin. “We may have to switch to Plan B, which is to offer free gender reassignment surgery for everyone who signs up.”

The U.S. Army, once regarded as the premiere fighting force in the world except for the far superior Marine Corps, has instead diverted its efforts to getting rid of people who love America while promoting more inclusivity. “I really just wanted to join the military to serve my country, provide a bright future for my family, and stand up for what I believe is right,” a young cadet said as he walked away from his local recruitment center after being asked by the recruitment officer if he regretted his white middle-class upbringing.

At press time, the Army was in deep discussions to create more publicity and attract potential recruits. “If our new rainbow camouflage uniforms don’t get people in line to sign up, then maybe our planned ‘Drag Queen Boot Camp’ will do the trick,” Colonel Skirtsteak said as he closed his press conference and strutted in his red high heels back to his office.

2 responses to “Army Unsure Why Their New Slogan ‘America Is Racist, You Should Die For It’ Isn’t Getting Traction

  1. Potsky's Icetrick

    The Russians made an agitprop recruiting poster during WWII in German featuring a freezing skeleton soldier at the back of a train and the forward slogan.
    The Germans made one during the Italian campaign saying that the road to Rome will be paved with skulls.


  2. It’s prophetic when the Bee tells a story. Now, just wait a few weeks and satire will become reality. When I think about my uncles, grandad, brother, my son-in-law, cousins, nephews and friends, their service for America, and some still doing it for a little while longer, it really hits home. There’s been much damage from our overstay in Iraq and Afghanistan, stop loss, and the disaster of a withdraw Biden gave us last year, while giving Afghanistan back to the Taliban with full armament and other terrorists. No red blooded American wants to serve for an untrustworthy President and a WOKE command that’s more concerned for racial and pretend gender quotas and proper pronouns, than any military mission or preparations. We need a military of warriors that want to go forward and break things. Now it’s all become political BS from the top down. It’s like they’re trying to destroy us from within on purpose. Why are we draining our strategic oil reserves on China, for a temporary few cents savings at the pump? What about refilling cost of $5 dollar a gal. Gas/Oil vs oil, we probably paid less than $2 a gal. When filling it, just a few years ago. How much is “the Big Guy” making on these 20 million barrels to China with or through Hunter’s Chi-com business partners? The Gov. can’t be trusted.


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