From The Babylon Bee:
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA — As the water levels of Lake Mead continue to go down, more human remains are being found. In response to this recent development, Hillary Clinton has been spotted outside Lake Mead desperately trying to fill the lake back up with a garden hose.
“This is the fifth body they’ve found since May, Bill! We gotta get out there now and do something about this!” said Hillary Clinton to her husband in a panic. “Hurry, grab the hose! We have to fill the lake back up!”
Park Rangers say Hillary Clinton will need about 38 million more gallons of water just to bring up the water an inch. Rangers stated that they just didn’t have the heart to tell her, as they’ve been having too much fun watching the entire ordeal play out. Some have even started placing bets on when she’ll finally throw in the towel.
At publishing time, despite Hillary’s efforts, the water dried up further revealing 42 more bodies, all of which had ties to the Clinton Foundation. Confronted by the media, Hillary brushed the whole thing off as a far-right conspiracy theory, while Bill actually seemed excited as if he was looking forward to some time away from Hillary.
Babylon Bee is a construct of the white male patriarchy and all skeletal remains will be redistributed in the spirit of egalitarian equity.
As well they should. I’m glad we are as one in our wokeness, or wokitude, or whatever they call it.