From The Babylon Bee:
CHARLOTTE, NC — Local housewife Shawna Coleman worked diligently all afternoon cleaning every baseboard in the house, intent that her home would look tidy if the FBI dropped in for a raid.
“I would be so humiliated if special agents searched my home and found it full of dust,” said Mrs. Coleman. “And what if they published pictures of my floors in the Washington Post? I better run the vacuum again.”
Despite his protests, Mr. Coleman has again been roped into helping clean the baseboards. “Why? Why the baseboards? Every dang time someone comes over,” grumbled Mr. Coleman as he worked. “At least this time, there’s some chance the people coming over will be looking in the upstairs closet. Soon as this raid is over, I’m designing walls and floors that don’t have baseboards. What woman started this neurotic obsession with baseboards? Some mother-in-law looking to annoy a happy couple, no doubt.”
At publishing time, the FBI agents reported that the cookies were delicious and repeatedly expressed to Mrs. Coleman that it was the nicest home they had ever ransacked.
STRAIGHT LINE LOGIC 