From The Babylon Bee:
LOS ANGELES, CA — The gay romantic comedy Bros saw a disappointing first weekend at the box office. Box office analysts are shocked that a movie aimed at 2% of the population fell short of attracting a broader audience.
“Once again, straight Americans have failed the gay community at the box office – we said the movie was not for cis-hetero oppressors, and they still failed to show up!” Director and star Billy Eichner sent a series of tweets condemning straight viewers for failing to see the movie that he had specified was not for them.
Industry analysts have weighed in, confirming that they do not expect global ticket sales to exceed domestic sales, since even fewer people in international audiences are part of the target audience for the film, and also since most Middle-Eastern and Asian countries announced the death penalty for anyone caught watching it.
Eichner seems to recognize that the domestic box office haul is pivotal, as his Tweets condemned “all the philistine homophobes who don’t want to see my gay movie!” The analysts have also suggested that timing may have been an issue, as there were several major league soccer games occurring at the same time.
At publishing time, Bros director Billy Eichner was seen covering his movie’s posters and box office placards with Morbius ads to trick more people into buying tickets.