12 New Taxes Biden Proposed In His State Of The Union Address

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Amidst the eyebrow-raising claims and unintelligible shouting, President Joe Biden also proposed twelve new taxes during his State of the Union Address on Tuesday night. In addition to boosting a lagging economy by further oppressing taxpayers, Biden hopes to improve public morale by taking more of their money and sending it to Ukraine.

Here is a brief rundown of new taxes proposed by President Biden:

  1. Tax on the Rich: People who make more than $30K per year must pay their fair share.
  2. Tax on the Poor: You can’t keep people dependent upon the government without keeping them poor.
  3. Child Tax: Every third child born will be given to the federal government.
  4. Animal Crossing Tax: A tax on all profits from selling turnips.
  5. Chick-Fil-A Sauce Tax: A tax on each packet of sauce requested at Chick-Fil-A.
  6. Keep-Your-Gender Tax: If you like your gender, you can keep your gender…for a price.
  7. Amazon Return Tax: Wives across the United States will be hit hard with taxes on each return.
  8. Thursday Tax: Every Thursday. Pay up, folks.
  9. Meal Tax: Only truly wealthy people need to eat multiple times every day. Now there will be a tax on any subsequent meal.
  10. Emoji Tax: With so many people communicating by emoji, it needs to be regulated and, you guessed it, taxed.
  11. Toilet Paper Square Tax: With so many shortages of basic goods, the government will crack down on multiple square usage. Don’t be greedy!
  12. Tax Tax: In order to crank up revenue, the government will now require you to pay taxes on your taxes.

3 responses to “12 New Taxes Biden Proposed In His State Of The Union Address

  1. Like how about like a tax on like the word like?


  2. Spahn Ranch 1970

    Someone hide the old Tavistock Beatles Tax Man song!


  3. It's Only Rock N' Roll

    All clowning aside, just read that you must report any digital assets such as Bitcoin on the 2022 tax forms.


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