From The Babylon Bee:
SPRINGFIELD, MA — Local father of three Drake Burlingham is reportedly unsure if he should take his children to the free fireworks show at nearby Blunt Park since he can put on his own show in the driveway for the low price of $800.
“It’ll be great, kids!” Burlingham explained to his children as his wife looked on in concern. “Sure, it’ll be a shorter show, but it’ll be more chaotic and unpredictable just as the founding fathers probably intended!”
“You don’t want to anger George Washington’s ghost, do you?”
The Burlingham children were ecstatic about the possibilities. Their mother, however, expressed skepticism. “Someone’s gonna get hurt!” said Sally Burlingham. “And now I can’t afford groceries for the next three weeks!”
“I promise, you’ll remember this forever,” said Burlingham. “It’ll be the best five minutes of your life!”
At publishing time, the show had lasted only 34 seconds and had landed Drake Burlingham in the ER for severe burns.
You can do a walkabout and see a free show.
Local church no longer does the extravaganza that sounds like thunder with music due to cost and traffic concerns.
There were about a dozen mortars set up tonight by private citizens.
Pappy used to do it from the rooftop with mortar!
One memorable occasion was the night we went to old time theater in Anytown, USA to see Star Wars as a lil’ shaver.