Betrayal carries it’s own unique pain. From SLL contributor Jesse Hubner:
The shroud was lifted but in the innocence of a hayfield, when I was aged in pine some thirty years old. The bosom friend I thought I knew shook his finger at me in rage. Red faced and stature rigid, he muttered spells of inscrutable hate, almost as if in tongues, a behavior previously thought reserved for the most heinous of crimes committed. And yet this was just a piddly business deal among friends, about as arbitrary in my mind as to whom you give patronage when it’s time to fill the car with gas. But to him it was fuel and fodder for a colossal bridge burning, and the hotter the fire the better. I left the scene in a state of traumatic collapse and numbing bewilderment.
As I assessed what happened over the following days and ultimately years, I discovered I could sum up the entire event with one word. Betrayal. Webster defines betrayal as “the violation of a person’s trust or confidence.” The word “confidence” within that definition makes perfect sense, because the friend that betrayed me was indeed, and always had been a confidence man, better known as a “con man” . . . I had just been too close to him to see it.
But if I may, I would like to further the definition of betrayal. Betrayal to me is an event. A biological “wow” moment event that burns a literal scar in your psyche that will never be healed nor removed from you as long as you shall live, if not longer. When you realize you have been betrayed it’s literally traumatic. At that actual moment it becomes hard to breathe and time for an instant completely stops. At that second of revelation your eyes are fully open to this new truth, and ultimately to this new reality, and there’s no going back. Did you hear me? There’s no going back. We’ve all had these events somewhere in our life, but I doubt many have given scrutiny to how incredibly big they truly are.
With all the evil shenanigans of collectivist control going on in this world daily, many of which are detrimental to everyone, even those not yet born, a host of us wonder how so many people can remain asleep, even ignorant of what’s happening. To me it’s simple. It’s not laziness, or distraction, pride, indifference, stupidity, naivety, or conceit, although all that and more plays a part. It’s that they have not yet discovered they have been and still are being . . . betrayed. Not lied to, patronized, flattered, misguided, ill-advised, bamboozled, exploited, or even “led like sheep to slaughter.” These exploits of evil are mere ongoing activities, none of which are an actual event. But betrayal! But betrayal! Yes, hell hath no fury of a woman scorned, but is it too naïve or hopeful to suggest nor will hell have the fury of the American admittedly betrayed?
The catalyst responsible for fomenting this personal event of realized betrayal could be anything. It could be an outright brazen lie seen or heard on “the news” that hits too close to home. It could be lies too well-advertised proudly in print via a history book, newspaper, science journal, or something heard at a corporate meeting or a religious gathering. It could be medical advice that doesn’t add up or too much baby talk from their personal banker. As demonstrated by a can of beer, it could be literally anything. But once those eyes are open to initiate just one personal event of betrayal, previously hidden within these tricky systems of control, the eyes are finally open to see everything. And those eyes, God bless those eyes, for better or worse, will remain always wide, wide open. I remain on cordial terms to this day with my friend the con man. However, that scar begins to throb when I get too close. For the most part he’s dead to me, yet I count the betrayal as a blessing. I truly know who he is now and beware such patterns of behavior in others as are his. The American so heavily betrayed on the other hand might not choose to remain on such cordial terms with their captors once their eyes are finally open.
It’s effortless to let go of self-absorbed people. It’s challenging to let go of someone you care about and it’s exceedingly difficult to let go of an ideal and a belief in someone because what exacerbates the disappointment of finding out they weren’t who they presented themselves to be, is the betrayal of it.
The sadness is experienced when you begin to recognize the full extent of what you have lost. You begin to think about the good things in the relationship that you miss. You think about the shattered trust and know that you can never get complete trust back. Once someone has violated our trust, we can get to a point where we can continue the relationship with them, but we will forever know that they have the capacity to betray us.