From The Babylon Bee:
U.S. — After receiving a downgrade in its credit for the second time in history, the United States government has been informed by crediting agencies that it will now need a co-signer to purchase a used Ford Taurus
“If it was a Kia, maybe,” said credit analyst Rob McCormick. “A Ford Taurus though – sorry Uncle Sam. No can do.”
After accumulating $15 trillion in debt over the past decade, U.S. officials were shocked to learn about the credit downgrade. “Wow. I had no idea that spending $15 trillion dollars that we didn’t have was an issue,” said Senator Chuck Schumer. “I’m just really caught off guard that people would be hesitant to loan us even more money. I wish someone had warned me.”
Credit agencies offered a plan for the U.S. government to help repair its credit score, but reports indicate it was poorly received. “The government could, for example, try a budget,” said Fitch CEO Larry Reese. “You know – track your income to ensure it doesn’t exceed expenses. It’s pretty radical, but there are real steps they could take.”
At publishing time, Biden had assured the American public that no one needed a budget and he could just get Ukraine to co-sign for a 2010 Taurus.
The ol’ pre Y2K Taurus will keep rolling after the EMP?
Barry and Brandon are historic, both had downgrades or as Idiocracy would say…
D-O-W-N-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
Vehicles most likely to survive EMP:
Toyota 4×4 Trucks 1985 and earlier
American made pre-1980 trucks
Dune Buggy
Pre-1980 Jeep
Pre-1980 Land Rover
Old Tractors
(h/t-Sullivan)