Ukraine’s Latest Own Goal: Volodymyr Zelensky The Brand, by Declan Hayes

Zelensky has passed his peak popularity, but he probably can extract more money by turning himself into a brand. Why not, everyone else does? From Declan Hayes at strategic-culture.org:

As the dust now settles on Ukraine, Zelensky is just a tiresome song and dance male stripper, whose shelf life has, along with almost 400,000 Ukrainian soldiers, expired.

If you are thinking of using MI6 agent Volodymyr Zelensky’s name to manufacture or distribute “underwear, hats, video games, kitchen utensils and knives…. toilet brushes and loo roll holders”, don’t even think about it. Ukraine’s answer to Hunter Biden has trademarked his last name “to stop anyone cashing in on his international fame”. As Zelensky has all sorts of toilet equipment trade-marked, you will have to pay him off and, presumably, The Big Guy as well. The same goes for those “hoping to cash in on his reputation as a military mastermind” as Zelensky has “also trademarked his name for military equipment, including guns, ballistic weapons, explosives, grenades and rocket launchers”.

Vodka and drones are also on the haram list, as are comedy clubs, Zelensky having previously earned his crust as a male stripper.

Although the tabloid Sun newspaper brought us this world exclusive, Zelensky, as this in-depth Daily Telegraph report explains, is a brand to die for. You can buy the “President’s sweatshirt,” as his marketing office dubs it, on U-Shirt’s website, for only $100, knowing “that the Sweatshirt’s significance simply revolves around the fact that it’s another example of casual political style, like Barack Obama’s rolled-up sleeves, or Emmanuel Macron’s absence of a tie”. And, if aping Obama and Macron was not enough value for your $100, the Daily Telegraph assures you that Zelensky’s shirts have the whiff of “military commanders such as Napoleon or Henry V who are most revered as leaders” about them.

So, there you go. Zelensky is Napoleon by the Dnieper. Buy your cocked hat now and forget who won the 1812, 1943 and 2023 battles of the Dnieper.

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