From The Babylon Bee:
SANTA MONICA, CA — A local man was tragically rendered unable to brush his teeth after he mistakenly neglected to pay the monthly subscription fee on his smart electric toothbrush.
“Toothbrush functionality disabled,” the toothbrush had chirped loudly after a payment was declined. “Please update your method of payment to continue brushing your teeth.”
“This is awful,” said Jake Brown, owner of the toothbrush. “Things have just been so busy with the holidays and everything going on, I forgot to make this month’s payment on my subscription for my OraDent Max, and now I haven’t been able to brush my teeth for weeks! No one in my family wants to be anywhere near me. This is terrible!”
Brown had been the envy of many of his family members and friends earlier this year when he became one of the lucky first owners of the OraDent Max smart electric toothbrush, which features full Bluetooth capabilities, iPhone integration, the ability to sync with the user’s contacts list and online music library, and more. “It’s the future of toothbrushing,” said OraDent spokesman Neil Prince. “No one is going to settle for an analog toothbrush anymore when they can have the world at their fingertips with a smart toothbrush. Cutting-edge oral hygiene will only cost you a $9.99 monthly subscription!”
By failing to keep his subscription paid up, Brown was left without the ability to maintain any level of oral hygiene. “I can’t go back to using a regular toothbrush,” he said. “What am I, some kind of caveman?”
At publishing time, Brown was reportedly hoping one of his friends would give him an OraDent Max gift card that would allow him to resume brushing his teeth.
Great point. It won’t be noticeable as everything I work with in the computer world is selling their products as subscriptions and not products. Cars with onboard computers won’t let you start them without the subscription. Homes will not be allowed to be occupied without a subscription to the property tax debt.
I had my young granddaughter with me in my car after I had eaten a meal heavy with garlic. She looked at me and said, “Grandpa Chad you need to brush your teeth, twice!” I won’t be able to because of a lapsed subscription.
Everything is now the recurring revenue model. “You will own nothing and be happy” [or else].
Just wait until AI is implemented at banks, insurance companies, government agencies, and all online shopping. You won’t be able to accomplish anything. Prove you’ve already paid? Prove to whom / what?
But, but, but, muh own nothing and like it?