From The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress issued a dire warning to the American people Friday, sternly reminding voters that if they do not keep sending billions of tax dollars to Ukraine, the war might end.
“This is America. We can’t let this happen,” said Senator Chuck Schumer in a press conference. “Our donors at Lockheed Martin, General Dynamic, Teledyne, Raytheon, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, and Burisma are running out of patience. If we don’t inject their weapon supply chains with fresh cash immediately, Ukraine and Russia might be forced to broker a peace deal.”
“I shudder at the thought.”
Foreign policy experts concurred that essential defense contractors and Ukrainian shell companies will run out of money to launder within a few weeks, which might force the hands of Russian and Ukrainian leaders to sign a peace treaty and stop slaughtering each other.
“I don’t want to imagine a world where people on the other side of the globe aren’t killing each other with American weapons,” said Secretary of State Blinken. “I urge Congress to put aside their differences and support this endless war. For America.”
At publishing time, Republicans had shown willingness to send more funding to Ukraine in exchange for a promise of future conversations to plan potential negotiations to secure the southern border maybe someday.
The most worthless useless feckless sold out so called governing body in human history.
A wretched hive of scum and villiany.
If only Mark Twain or HL Mencken was around to roast them.
Couldn’t they build Wakanda with all of that money?
Elon could build his Total Recall world on Mars with the filthy lucre and it would be like that scene where the oxygen is cut off because they didn’t pay up.
Or some extra big azz reparations n’ stuff!
How about Idiocracy II with Honkler as preezy of the steezy.
I vote for Nicky Santoro.
The trains run on time or else we take you out back and rough you up a little bit.
Tweet screen capture (h/t-WRSA) shows Mini-Sorrows meeting with Germanystan apparatchik and stating that the war in 404 must not end.
Too much money to be made on the slaughter but weakening Ivan isn’t happening as they now have the most battle hardened army with a Totaler Krieg (Total WAR) footing production in session featuring new powerful drones and other effective weapons such as the James Bond satellite nuke/EMP. (gasp!)
Only the dullard dinglebrains running the former west into the ground would get the Russians riled up in a Great Patriotic WAR II.
From Russia With Love to Leave The World Behind?
The Smiting Hand moves through nations.