This is savagely funny. From Tim Knight at Slope of Hope via 2ndsmartestguyintheworld.substack.com:
Since I entered Friday massively short, and have zero buying power left, I was bored enough to wander over to a place I’ve never been in my life – – the Silicon Valley Bank website – – and take a look around.
I thought I’d share some nuggets from there, since, for the moment, the website is still up and running. As you might guess, since this is a financial institution, it is absolutely SLATHERED with virtue-signaling. Indeed, there’s not a white male to be found anywhere except for their actual senior leadership page, which is the kind of do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do hypocrisy rampant in modern American corporations, particularly banks.
Let’s stroll around, shall we? We begin, naturally, on the home page itself where the organization declares itself to be all about proactive (now there’s a corporate-speak gem for you) guidance for the long run. The long run as in “your bank will not go into receivership on March 10, 2023.” I guess that didn’t work out as planned.
It only takes a moment to run smack dab into the sea of the stock photographs of every gender, race, height, weight, and hairstyle imaginable as the soon-to-be-bankrupt corporation declared its commitment to living its values.
What are they, you ask? Well, they spell them right out, and they include integrity, empathy, embracing diverse (of course) perspective, and – – my favorite – – “We take responsibility.” That’ll be put to the test soon, I imagine.
STRAIGHT LINE LOGIC 