Cersei Lannister Enters Crowded Field Of 2020 Democratic Candidates, from The Babylon Bee

KING’S LANDING—Entering an already crowded field of 2020 Democratic candidates, Cersei Lannister, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms announced Tuesday her candidacy for President of the United States of America.

Lannister’s vicious politics and position as a fierce, powerful, independent feminist icon have already positioned her at the front of the pack. Her cynical, ruthless rise to power mirrors that of many of the Democratic candidates currently running as well, making her an even better fit to hold high office for the Democrats.

“After much deliberation, I’ve decided I can help the nation best by running for president as a Democrat in 2020,” she said in a speech delivered to a mass of peasants in the shadow of the Red Keep. “Their platform of handing more and more power and money to the elite few in government, no matter who has to be killed to make it happen, is exactly in line with my core values.”

“When you run for president, you win or you die,” she added ominously.

“Cersei’s the perfect Democratic candidate: brutal, thirsty for power, a big-government advocate—she’ll fit right in,” said one political pundit. “She’s even OK with killing kids for political gain. Frankly, her position on child murder isn’t quite extreme enough for most of the Democrats nowadays, but maybe a centrist is really what they need.”

Cersei has also been praised for blowing up innocent people with explosions, a staple of the Democratic platform since President Obama’s term.

At publishing time, every other Democratic candidate was found dead under suspicious circumstances.


One response to “Cersei Lannister Enters Crowded Field Of 2020 Democratic Candidates, from The Babylon Bee

  1. I could have had a V8!!! But I got a 2 cycle two banger smoken and torquing the line with HP on the “O” scope, I got a standing wave, I got energy like putting A tiger in your TANK. Tanks wit a 2X4 up along side the old CS, or prop door! Be a man and meet me face to face time and you girls too, wit 2×4 in hand I picture the contest of batters up, the U boob tube, imagine the visuals with audio if you had ears and the brains to use them? There is absolutely no substituent for Horse Power, cuz Joe said SO, that’s why!

    Communists and CON swerve a thief, conservatively SO!, ore, or cry me a river that you are paddling down, or perhaps up yours?. Pure perhaps hives of thieves they are both. Or perhaps John Wilkes Booth to tooth girl-swerve decidedly into the abyss, together, bang bang you shot me down? With extreme pre-Justice, what are your last words? … . . . … ! Dumped into the Be TOO, Me too movement of Y knot, Me Too? A-2 Brut US? Air-Land and Sea, See, that don’t bother me et all. Mason Proffit, Three Hangmen hanging from a tree. That don’t bother me, at all! Perhaps, it was only two that deserved it.

    Three by nine, do da math. One plus One equals three, trust me? Nine is a clan. Or, perhaps three are twins? Crewed in. Then what? Electrically speaking, amps x volts equals watts, or perhaps watts up and what did he juss say, watt? I will shine a light, excuse me LED bulb less watt than incandesient, screwed in by a a gaggle of perennial, ATTENTIONS PHOTONS, perennial have demanded light, WE shall accommodate the nuclear opinion, “O”. Liberals, can’t envy a decent fire, or even start one. Pussy boys and you girls too, face metaled and tattooed and I think screwed too, you know who you are got guts and no glory would riot for a faggot and even climate change then kill the off spring. That takes guts!

    I would suggest the austarians would step up with a plan real quick to abolish the Federal Reserve, a bold st andard, end the IRS and the inferneal revenue misservice taxed income. Three branches are the tree of liberty, Executive (we give guts) to them that makes the decisions, legislative the body of WE the People (representives of the people, senators by the state and I would suggest the state pays their wages and the benifit is swift kick in the ass). And off course the courts are the jury of prudance, decisively an opinion! The law come out of the barral of a gun and they know it. Consider, how many hangmen could be hanging from a tree with three branchs of life, liberty and the persute of HAPPINESS? Might get pissed. Make my day a pay day! And of course, do you feel lucky?

    Resistance? Ohm! I got watts, what do you got, volts? My soul is owed to no man. Nor, my wit knit I weave.

    Joe X

    PS Three things government has no business in. Individuals, banking, or business, nor education, or speach that is free, like freedom of the press in todays terms which is the digital, criptically speaking. OK! that was more than three, but less than nine. WE could suggest an end to our energy and envrionmental restrictions by the gods of government blessed in coruption, or SPY GATE, the evil eye, heres looking at you kid and they know where you live?

    A minor improvement of entitlement of education, children. Each recieves one thousand dollars at birth and every year there after untill age 22 with compounding interest for their education of not being stupid!… Does that interest you? Stipulation, ecomonics 1 to 101 is human action. Education is not a school buliding or any sort of administration except the administration of education to each child to build the future for the generations. The only profit is continuance of the human race, boys and girls! That is an education!

    Business should get the business if as is government in general they deserve it. Butcher, baker and candle stick maker, the business is our business and so is your business, untill we believe it is none of our business. Thieves end up hanging from a tree and perhaps the hangman too? That don’t bother me at all.,. Tanks for the memories? M88 perhaps the retriver? Gun control is trigger time. Having the guts to do it is another thing.

    God Bless America, my home, sweat equitety, home. I could be wong, but I am not Chinese, but I think wong wants the same thing as the average white guy. ZERO Gov.!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.