From The Babylon Bee:
MOUNT DOOM—Governor Gretchen Whitmer is refusing to throw the Ring of Power back into Mount Doom, despite the Michigan Supreme Court ordering her to return it into the fires whence it came.
“Nooo! Not my precious!” Whitmer screamed as the state Supreme Court handed down the order to destroy the Ring. “Nasty, nasty Constitution! We don’t likes it! Nasty, fat Founding Fathers!” She turned and left.
“No, Whitmer! It will be your undoing!” cried the judge.
The Ring betrayed Whitmer, of course, and she was found floating in the River Anduin with arrows in her back, as Governor Gavin Newsom sought to attain the Ring of Power for himself.