From The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Constitution has come forward to accuse Joe Biden of a brutal assault, alleging that the president has maintained an abusive relationship with the document for decades.
With tears in its i’s, the Constitution said it is just happy that it can finally tell its story.
“Me too,” it said. “Me. Too.”
This isn’t the first instance of allegations made by our nation’s founding document, as it has claimed varying degrees of abuse at the hands of 45 other presidents and thousands of congresspeople, senators, and Supreme Court justices.