From The Babylon Bee:
The Smithsonian has seen an influx of donations of relics from January 6, the darkest day in our nation’s history, if you don’t count a few of the big ones. Here are twelve of the most significant artifacts that have been donated so far:
1. Buffalo guy’s buffalo hat – This will be displayed on a full wax replica of buffalo guy in a diorama of his natural habitat, grazing out on the plains.
2. The American flag pants Trump was wearing during the attack – Do you think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face while Trump is wearing those bad boys? Forget about it.
3. The deadly selfie sticks carried by the attackers – These weapons will forever remind us of their violence.
4. Joe Biden’s half-eaten ice cream cone – When he heard about the attack, he fainted (or maybe fell asleep; it’s unclear). The ice cream will forever go unlicked. Haunting.
5. Joe Biden – Speaking of ancient relics, Kamala Harris has donated Joe Biden to the museum to be preserved for future generations.
6. A tumbler filled with authentic AOC tears – A rare and beautiful treasure. Sigh, we love AOC.
7. Knittin’ MeeMaw’s reading glasses – Future generations will get chills down their spines as they view these – the spectacles of a killer.
8. Nancy Pelosi’s dentures – The very dentures she was wearing when the attack happened. Wow. So rare!
9. The charred ruins where the Capitol used to be – The giant crater from all the destruction will be preserved forever.
10. The barricades the police officers voluntarily moved aside to let people in – Truly an indication of how violent these rioters were.
11. The 155 mm artillery shell that blew up and killed AOC – Fragments of the shell were recovered and will be displayed along with 400 other things that killed AOC in a special seventeen-room exhibit.
12. Trump’s authentic LEGO models of the Capitol, White House, and Pentagon – Once the FBI is finished investigating Trump’s extensive LEGO collection, they’ll be turned over to the museum.
Be sure to visit the Jan. 6 exhibit the next time you’re in D.C.! It will probably be mandatory for all American subjects at some point anyway!
