From The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki addressed concerns over rising inflation Friday, noting that the impact of rising prices doesn’t matter because there’s nothing left on store shelves to buy.
“Rising prices would definitely be a problem if there were things like food, clothing, or medicine available for purchase,” Psaki said. “As it stands right now, consumers really aren’t paying higher prices because they’re not able to purchase anything. People are reporting they’ve never saved so much money in their lives!”
Psaki said the impacts of inflation are of top concern to President Biden. “The president remembers a time when you could buy a sack of licorice at the general store and still get change back from a nickel,” she said. “Rest assured, President Biden is devoting all of his remaining mental faculties to addressing this problem.”
When asked about specific plans, Psaki noted that the President plans to flood the economy with trillions of dollars to help struggling families. “The President is committed to printing as much money as it takes to end this inflation crisis,” she noted.
Psaki then addressed the topic of supply shortages, calling them a blessing in disguise for many Americans. “Many of us struggle with our weight, and food shortages are a great way to drop some extra pounds,” she noted. “Plus, the money you save by not buying Christmas presents this year can be used to cover your increased tax bills next spring!”