Japanese Admit Sushi Was Just Massive Prank To See If They Could Get People To Eat Raw Fish

From The Babylon Bee:

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TOKYO — The Prime Minister of Japan admitted today that sushi was a giant prank by the people of Japan to see if they could get people to actually eat raw fish.

“We got you good!” laughed Prime Minister Fumio Kishida. “It’s been so hard keeping a straight face watching you dopes eat raw fish. This is the best prank in the history of pranks!”

The joke reportedly started in 1974, hatched by the Japanese Prime Minister’s chef during a visit by President Gerald Ford. “Just for giggles, the chef put a piece of raw fish on Mr. Ford’s plate and said it was Japanese tradition to eat it that way,” said historian Emiko Nakaya. “To everyone’s shock, Mr. Ford proceeded to take a huge bite of raw tuna! The Prime Minister had to leave the room, as he couldn’t hide his laughter. Thus, sushi was born.”

Ever since the prank’s inception, Japanese chefs have taken delight in creating progressively more disgusting creations to see what people will eat. “It’s insane. We can roll up raw fish in literal seaweed, but then call it a ‘Dragon Roll’ and people will eat it!” said chef Haruko Takao. “The other day, one of the other chefs dared me to put fish eggs on top of raw squid and call it ‘Emperor’s Delight’. A dozen people ate it! Oh man, I was gagging behind the counter just watching them.”

The Japanese people also admitted that they came up with the idea of karaoke just to watch people make idiots of themselves.



One response to “Japanese Admit Sushi Was Just Massive Prank To See If They Could Get People To Eat Raw Fish

  1. Tollef Ås/秋涛乐/טלפ וש

    This jewel of culinary information has overlooked the pinnacle of all sushi-scam jokes played on us open-dudes by Japan’s «Slitsäugigen» (no offense intended — except on us from the remains of the fishing banks of out sunken Atlantis’ due to less IQ than east and West Asians — the Nipponese and also immigrants from Ur.) , so here is my recollection of The Great Sushi Scam driven In Extremis: I visited the place in tha year of real and imagined massacres of 1989:

    They invented: Awful-embracing Sushi — octobyssy and bad-looking fish. Thence in Otaru near Saporro on fair Hokkaidô

    Furthest North in Japan on fair Hokkaidô Island, facing Siberia, lies Japan’s parallell to the university town of Ann Arbor in US Midwest Michigan: The small city of Otaru/小樽 (Literally: «Little Cascet/ Small Pot / Tight Stool»), which inter alia houses the best college of financial fraud (AKA «business administration» in all of East Asia.

    The salmon and herring fisheries had failed. The locals ate tuna, carp and whale sent in from Southern Japan. What to do???

    They went for feeding foreigner foul-looking fish like and the ugly heads of moneyfish/anglers((Lophius piscatorius)) (they fed the bodies to their dogs, who would not even sniff the heads).

    The business concept was a masterstroke of salesmanship: Folks would follow US «Dessert Storm» against Saddam of Iraq and get thirsty, Then go to the ugly sushi shop and order great jars of sake and shôjû (hard booze) to stop being afraid, then gumble down these scorpionfish «(Scorpaeniformes)», feeling very brave when avoiding their poisonous top stinger fin as if they were eating fugu fish — the real poisonous thing.

    It’ a great misfortune that this unique concept of fooling-sushi has not reached the roaches of the rest of our world. Instead in Europe, Noregian salmon — although even more uncouthly fed than botttom-eating moneyfish — has spread even to Saudi Arabia and China. What are those Japano-Norwegians under Stoltzenburg now angling for?


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