Category Archives: Humor

Can’t Stop Lying

 

 

thanks for factcheck almost thought government not tyrannical

 

hill us dead last media trust ruling class crying sunny philadelphia

 

build back better brought to you people never built anything

of all zoom meetings climate conference first on list

 

australia started as prison colony end as one

 

biden pope high risk elderly men no mask 7 year old

tar feathers not cellphone living in moment wish go back

 

office sign lets go brandon chant liberals no fun 4 years

 

 

tweet biden inflation whole prices records

 

me and boys los angeles port self checkout lane

santa supply chain chip shortage coal kid christmas

 

 

Liberals Accuse Rittenhouse Of Trying To Avoid Punishment Through Legal Loophole Known As ‘Trial’

From The Babylon Bee:

KENOSHA, WI—Leftists are sounding the alarm that Kyle Rittenhouse—a notorious slayer of white communist pedophiles—may escape punishment through a little-known legal loophole known as a “trial.”

“This is very concerning,” said Chip Cordray, progressive legal expert covering the case. “Using this obscure loophole, Rittenhouse’s fate will be decided by an impartial jury of peers based on evidence, rather than the whims of noble communist revolutionaries on Twitter—such as Bette Midler and Joe Biden.”

Experts confirm that if Rittenhouse is found “not guilty,” liberals won’t be getting their way, which could lead to massive temper-tantrums, such as arson and looting.

“We can’t let this happen,” said Cordray. “It’s time to talk about closing the ‘trial’ loophole so that justice can be done according to the whims of the leftist mob, as our founding fathers intended.”

https://babylonbee.com/news/liberals-accuse-rittenhouse-of-trying-to-avoid-punishment-through-legal-loophole-known-as-trial

Surviving Inflation: 9 Easy Ways To Save Money On Your Thanksgiving This Year

From The Babylon Bee:

Inflation isn’t happening.

Inflation is happening, but it’s within norms.

Inflation is happening, and it’s a good thing. 

This Thanksgiving, as we celebrate together under the rule of President Biden, may he live forever, we might have to cut back on a few things to survive hyperinflation. That’s OK, though. We’re resourceful Americans. Here are nine easy ways to cut back on Turkey Day this year:


1. Swap out that delicious turkey for a good ol’ can o’ Spam. Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam!

2. If you’re low on funds, use that 16 cents you saved on July 4. Time to open up the ol’ July 4 coffers and splurge a little. Treat yourself!

3. Just imagine there’s food on your table like the Lost Boys in HookAnd then, you can have an awesome pretend food fight! Foooooood fiiiiiiight!!!

4. Go open one of your giant expensive freezers and get a $12 pint of gourmet ice cream. Let them eat rainbow sherbet!

5. Go back in time and exchange your fiat currency for crypto. It’s inflation-proof, and bitcoin is worth $63,692.20 $24,652.41 $76,591.03 each!

6. Go back in time and change your Biden vote to a vote for Trump. If only, if only…

7. Uninvite your in-laws. Sacrifices have to be made.

8. Why not try eating the hobbits’ legs—they’re fresh! They don’t need their legs. Much better than eating maggoty bread for three stinkin’ days. Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!

9. If all else fails, it’s time to sell that Charizard card that’s been in your parents’ attic since you went off to college. Look, none of us likes saying goodbye, but it’s time.

https://babylonbee.com/news/surviving-inflation-9-easy-ways-to-save-money-on-your-thanksgiving-this-year

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Booster Line

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‘That Boy Was Fake-Crying!’ Says Man Who Bursts Into Tears Whenever Someone Lightly Brushes His Elbow

From The Babylon Bee:

‘The Booster Shot Had Absolutely No Side Effects,’ Says Gavin Newsom’s Second Head

From The Babylon Bee:

SACRAMENTO, CA—Two weeks after receiving a vaccine booster then abruptly disappearing from public view, California Governor Gavin Newsom emerged from his home. Looking as shiny and healthy as ever, the governor reassured Californians that the COVID-19 booster shot was safe and effective.

“The booster shot had absolutely no side effects,” said Newsom from the second head poking out of his neck. “I actually feel TWICE as good as I did before the booster!”

An intrepid journalist from the L.A. Times bravely addressed what was on everyone’s mind and asked Newsom if he enjoyed Halloween with his kids. The governor hastily replied that Halloween was enjoyable and that he did not succumb to growing urges to consume his children, but that they have been sent to boarding school for a long, long time.

Another journalist began to ask an irrelevant question about why the governor had a second head growing out of his custom-tailored dress shirt, but was quickly reproached by Mrs. Newsom and lectured on the incivility of treating her husband like a public figure.

Governor Newsom’s second head then declared a state of emergency, citing a severe shortage of hair gel.

https://babylonbee.com/news/the-booster-shot-had-absolutely-no-side-effects-says-gavin-newsoms-second-head

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Off To Get My Booster

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Oscar The Grouch Refuses The Vaccine, Stocks Up On Ivermectin

From The Babylon Bee:

https://babylonbee.com/news/oscar-the-grouch-refuses-the-vaccine-stocks-up-on-ivermectin

Good News For Dems: Biden And Harris Now Polling At 66% Approval If You Combine Their Numbers

From The Babylon Bee:

https://babylonbee.com/news/good-news-biden-and-harris-now-polling-at-66-approval-if-you-combine-their-numbers

Republicans Declare Victory After Reducing Needless Spending Bill To Just A Trillion Dollars

From The Babylon Bee:

https://babylonbee.com/news/republicans-declare-victory-after-reducing-needless-spending-bill-to-just-a-trillion-dollars