Tag Archives: Transgender athletes

Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics

From The Babylon Bee:

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND—100% totally female weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was forced to bid farewell to her Olympic dreams yesterday after a tragic accident left her with a severely lacerated testicle. Hubbard would have been the first transgender woman to compete in the Olympics.

The injury is not life-threatening, but doctors have advised Hubbard that she needs to refrain from heavy lifting for at least six to eight weeks as her injury heals. Obviously, that means Olympic weightlifting is off the table.

Hubbard was something of a controversial figure at this year’s games given that she was born a biological male and competed as a male weightlifter until 2013. Many critics argued that this gave her an unfair advantage compared to female weightlifters, but Hubbard says that’s ridiculous.

“Sure, there are some biological differences like bone density and muscle strength between the sexes,” Hubbard said. “But none of those gives me an unfair advantage in weightlifting, which is really more about finesse and technique!”

Hubbard said while she’s disappointed she won’t be able to live out her Olympic dreams this year, that’s just the way it goes. “Sometimes your testicles get in the way,” Hubbard said. “That’s just something we gals have to deal with.”


DeSantis Decides To Allow Biological Men To Compete In Women’s Sports As Long As They Wear High Heels

From The Babylon Bee:

TALLAHASSEE, FL—After receiving some pushback from trans activists on his bill to ban biologically male athletes from women’s sports, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has relented and decided to allow males to compete with women, as long as they also wear women’s high heels when doing so.

“I think this is a decent compromise,” said DeSantis. “If a dude thinks he’s a woman, it’s only fair that he wear obnoxiously feminine clothes while doing so. Trans-women should be required to wear 5-in stilettos while competing with their fellow women. Come to think of it, we should probably make them dress in full drag as well, so they can fully honor their gender expression.”

Trans activists responded with an uproar, calling the proposal unreasonable.

According to opponents of Desantis’s proposal, some trans-women may struggle to run in high heels in spite of their massive man muscles, due to the fact that some may not be used to walking in high heels. For this reason, they have decided the proposal is unfair.

The bill has passed and millions of Floridians are already purchasing tickets to watch biological men try to run in high-heels.