From The Babylon Bee:
U.S.—A new study from very credible scientists has revealed that science wants everyone to continue to wear masks for the foreseeable future. This is due to brand new evidence from real science that masks actually prevent global warming.
CNN then breathlessly reported that masks must now be worn by all people who don’t want to die in a cataclysmic flood or a killer volcano due to climate change.
Several states are also issuing lockdown orders to prevent people from going outside and polluting the atmosphere with their existence.
Several liberals who were interviewed said they were just happy to have a scientific reason to wear a mask again.