From The Babylon Bee:
U.S.—Progressives have expressed their anger across the country as another person, Joe Rogan, recovered from COVID and did not die, harming their preferred narrative about the deadliness of the virus and what kind of treatments should be used. He has been called “anti-science” and “a purveyor of misinformation” for not dropping dead. Despite not agreeing 100% with everything the left believes about the pandemic, lockdowns, vaccines, mandates, and masks, Rogan survived and is reportedly feeling great, doing incredible damage to all the progress we have made getting people to believe the science. “It’s straight-up anti-science is what it is,” said Huxley Burnsides of Portland, Oregon. “We should outlaw people surviving from COVID, especially those who disagree with me.” At publishing time, the author of this article was praying he does not regress and die because that’d be really embarrassing and also people dying is bad.