From The Babylon Bee:

DIGHTON, MA — Military police have arrested Jack Teixeira for allegedly leaking classified documents that contained information on the war in Ukraine. Teixeira, an Air National Guardsman, is currently kicking himself for not just leaving documents strewn around an unlocked garage as the President did.
“Ugh! I’m so stupid! Why didn’t I just print them out and leave them in a garage, or a vacation home, or the trunk of a Corvette?” said the distraught Teixeira while being hauled away. “What on earth was I thinking?”
According to sources, military leadership is trying to decide between the non-judicial punishments of Gitmo or the firing squad.
At publishing time, more classified documents had been found under a stash of crack belonging to Hunter Biden.
Wow, ruin your life for a little attention. Very sad state we find ourselves in, when our young adults are no more mature than a high school freshman. God help us if we have to fight a war. Where are our Men? We are raising sniveling brats that never grow up. Between the lack of character and no awareness of God, these problems will only get worse. We have sacrificed excellence and honor for worthless self serving, soul sucking distraction.
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