A Kingly Proposal: Letter from Julian Assange to King Charles III

Julian Assange reveals himself as a master of sardonic sarcasm. From Assange at declassifieduk.org:

Julian Assange speaking in 2009. (Photo: New Media Days / Peter Erichsen / Creative Commons)

To His Majesty King Charles III,

On the coronation of my liege, I thought it only fitting to extend a heartfelt invitation to you to commemorate this momentous occasion by visiting your very own kingdom within a kingdom: His Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh.

You will no doubt recall the wise words of a renowned playwright: “The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath.”

Ah, but what would that bard know of mercy faced with the reckoning at the dawn of your historic reign? After all, one can truly know the measure of a society by how it treats its prisoners, and your kingdom has surely excelled in that regard.

Your Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh is located at the prestigious address of One Western Way, London, just a short foxhunt from the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich. How delightful it must be to have such an esteemed establishment bear your name.

Beyond the gustatory pleasures, I can assure you that Belmarsh provides ample educational opportunities for your subjects. As Proverbs 22:6 has it: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Observe the shuffling queues at the medicine hatch, where inmates gather their prescriptions, not for daily use, but for the horizon-expanding experience of a “big day out”—all at once.

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4 responses to “A Kingly Proposal: Letter from Julian Assange to King Charles III

  1. Pingback: A Kingly Proposal: Letter from Julian Assange to King Charles III | STRAIGHT LINE LOGIC – Additional survival tricks

  2. Eyes to See Ears to Hear

    Klaus says no and jugears only obeys.
    The archbishop of dingleberry isn’t what he appears to be either.
    Stay strong J.A. and good to see that your brain is kicking on all cylinders.
    A tip of the hat to Camilla for hanging in there.


    • Julian should be grateful. Not many ate chosen for an iconic role such as they try to foist upon him: Winston Smith. The difference is that Winston was always a coward, and Julian has shown himself as a man of strength, integrity, and principle. Would that Chucky Three Sticks possessed those qualities in the same measure…or his filthy spare offspring.


  3. Pingback: A Kingly proposal: letter from Julian Assange to King Charles III | Waikanae Watch

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