I Apologize for This Column in Advance, by Joe Bob Briggs

The apology, which was once an expression of personal responsibility, guilt, and contrition, has been turned into just another exercise in public relations’ bullshit. From Joe Bob Briggs at takimag.com:

WASHINGTON—I would like to apologize in advance for not apologizing when people demand an apology.

Of course, when I don’t apologize, many people believe that my refusal to apologize means that I haven’t properly realized the depths of my evil, because the refusal itself is prima facie evidence that I’m even more depraved and clueless than originally believed, because surely all these repeated demands for me to apologize, increasing in volume and intensity, should have made me understand that I am wrong. The world took a vote and I lost, don’t I get that?

Furthermore, since I have persisted in refusing to apologize even after a third and fourth demand for my repentance goes unheeded, I must be forced to resign, paraded through the public stocks of social media, forever branded an unfeeling infidel Neanderthal who Just Doesn’t Get It when it comes to the business of offending people, and wiped off the face of the earth for not being willing to assuage feelings in the court of public opinion.

But it’s even worse. I also hold the view that, if you haven’t done or said anything wrong, or if you have simply misspoken, or if you have followed a policy that is proper to follow and yet people don’t like it, then an apology is the absolute worst thing you can do, because it is a lie.

I could cite a thousand examples of people apologizing, turning themselves into rank liars because they fear this or that rabid mob seeking their humiliation, but I’m going to deal with the three most recent and celebrated cases.

To continue reading: I Apologize for This Column in Advance

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