From The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi has announced that every $600 stimulus check will come with a free slice of cake for Americans to eat.
“Americans have been suffering, so we need to let them eat cake,” she said in front of Congress yesterday. “We closed down their businesses for the past nine months, so it’s the least we can do. Really. I do mean that. The least.”
Congress considered ice cream for every America, but Pelosi vetoed it as it was too expensive to give every American a $13 quart of the brand she eats. There was also talk of giving the option of vanilla cake, but that was shot down as being racist.