Tag Archives: Nancy Pelosi

DiaperedLosi, by Eric Peters

It seems only appropriate that Nancy Pelosi wore the symbol of mindless fear—a facemask—on her “bold” trip to Taiwan. From Eric Peters at ericpetersautos.com:

The sight of Nancy Pelosi in Taiwan – fully Face Diapered, along with her entourage of Sickness Kabuki Players – is almost as risible as the nasal sound of Anthony Fauci’s voice whining about how awful it is that Americans won’t “adhere” to his counsel regarding “public health measures.”

Is there any better barometer of the Failed State of these United States?

Either the “leadership” cadre is almost unimaginably stupid – and bullheaded, which is a peripheral characteristic of the very stupid – or they are almost unimaginably evil, as this column has suggested previously.

At this point, the only people who wear “masks” by choice are very stupid people, possibly rendered so by a near-three-year pounding of stupidity, via such as Anthony Fauci – a medical doctor who continues to urge people to wear them, despite the fact that he has got to know better.

Unless, of course, he is almost unimaginably stupid – or too stupidly stubborn to admit he was wrong and should have known better.

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The US Military Was Just Used To Help A Dementia Patient Try To Start WW3, by Caitlin Johnstone

Is there a mind left in the democratic party? Among its gerontocrats, is there anyone not severely afflicted with dementia? From Caitlin Johnstone at caitlinjohnstone.com:

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has left Taiwan after a brief but diplomatically corrosive visit, the aftereffects from which may be felt for years to come.

Toward the end of her speech alongside Taiwan’s President Tsai Ing-wen, Pelosi’s brain underwent one of its increasingly common software glitches, causing her to begin babbling inarticulately.

Here is a transcript of what Nancy Pelosi’s brain said:

“In our earliest days at our founding of our country, Benjamin Franklin, our presidency, said, freedom and democracy. Freedom and democracy, one thing, security here. If we don’t have- we can’t have either, if we don’t have both.”

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Pelosi Cancels Taiwan Trip Over Fears of China’s Newly Developed Vodka-Seeking Missile

From The Babylon Bee:

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been forced to cancel her planned flight to Taiwan after China announced they have developed deadly surface-to-air vodka-seeking missiles.

“Your politician lady will never get past the awesome might of our XA-12 People’s Liberation Army Martini Maimers!” said CCP General Xu Xian Xong. “We dare you to try! Hahahahaha!”

“We were going to continue the trip as planned until China’s very serious threat,” said a State Department official. “Speaker Pelosi’s blood vodka levels are higher than any known American, making it impossible to evade a deadly missile barrage. Plus, she is extremely flammable. It wouldn’t be a pretty sight.”

Pelosi’s team is considering several safer options for her trip, including using Zoom, investing millions in CCP-owned companies in exchange for safe passage, and having her fly below SAM radar on her broomstick.

“I will nobbeee intimidated by Chinese threats,” slurred Pelosi while chugging Tito’s directly from the bottle. “Muh fooshuuuuuu blarmgiddle. Good morning, Sunday morning.”

At publishing time, the CCP also warned Hunter Biden about trying to get past their array of crack-seekers.

https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-cancels-taiwan-trip-over-fears-of-chinas-newly-developed-vodka-seeking-missile

Provoking Beijing, by Moon of Alabama

The U.S is dancing on the edge of war with Russia and now Washington wants to do the same with Beijing. It’s a mark of the delusions gripping Washington that they think this can end well. From Moon of Alabama at moonofalabama.org:

Yves Smith is aghast about the U.S. eyepoking of China:

The neocons above all seem unable to process that the days of US hegemony are over. It boggles the mind that they are not just eyepoking but escalating greatly with China via the still-planned Pelosi visit to Taiwan in August. As we’ll explain, China is fully cognizant of the fact that Pelosi is number two in line after Harris should something happen to the increasingly addle-brained Biden. And they don’t buy for a second that Pelosi is operating without the explicit approval of the Administration.Note that it’s entirely possible that Pelosi revived her Taiwan trip plan (recall she put it off after coming down with Covid) all on her own. The Pentagon gave her a face-saving out by saying they didn’t recommend it.

China, which is routinely screechy when it is upset about what it perceives to be foreign transgressions, has managed to find new registers in its objections the proposed Pelosi visit.

Pelosi is not only number two in line but has been hostile to the Chinese government for more than 30 years. In 1991 she and two other members of Congress made a stunt on the Tiananmen square where two years before protests had taken place.

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Nancy Pelosi Recommends Avoiding Pain At The Pump By Becoming A Millionaire Through Insider Trading

From The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a statement given this week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she feels for Americans struggling with prices at the pump and offered a suggestion for how to cope by becoming a millionaire through insider trading.

“If you want to avoid suffering from high gas prices, the solution is simple,” she said. “Just get elected to Congress and spend decades trading stocks based on insider information only Congress is allowed to have! Easy!”

“You’ll even have money left over for ice cream and to bail your spouse out of prison if they get a DUI!”

Republicans condemned Pelosi’s callous statements, contesting that Americans should instead pull themselves up by their bootstraps and work harder, and maybe meet with a few ExxonMobil lobbyists for some extra cash.

“Pelosi’s advice is sound, but we’ve found this approach only works for one out of every 350 million Americans,” said local Democratic strategist Yance Parmesan. “For everyone unable to enrich themselves as a career politician, we recommend you just ask Biden for a gas card or buy an electric car. Simple as that!”

At publishing time, gas prices rose even higher, forcing Pelosi to get a second job delivering pizzas.

https://babylonbee.com/news/nancy-pelosi-recommends-avoiding-pain-at-the-pump-by-becoming-a-millionaire-through-insider-trading

Zookeepers Scramble To Vaccinate All Lizards After Hearing Pelosi Got COVID

From The Babylon Bee:

TUSCON, AZ—Zookeepers across the nation are reportedly scrambling to vaccinate all reptiles in captivity following the announcement that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for COVID-19.

“COVID has officially jumped species,” warned a representative from the American Organization of Zookeepers. “We’ve seen it jump to apes and household pets but now that reptiles are affected we have to work quickly.”

This is not the first time a politician has been infected with the Coronavirus, but Pelosi is in a unique position as a confirmed reptilian overlord. The secret race of humanoids that disguise themselves to live among us and control our lives was previously thought to be invulnerable, but conspiracy theorists speculate Pelosi’s addiction to alcohol and ice cream contributed to the infection.

“Reptilian humanoids are ancient creatures from an unnamed space quadrant the government doesn’t want you to know about,” said George Noory, host of the radio program Coast to Coast AM. “COVID might turn out to be a great thing if it wipes them off the face of the flat earth and allows us to see beyond the veil to all the UFOs and ghosts the government is hiding.”

According to sources, zookeepers are separating reptilian species from each other and applying tiny little masks to their faces until they can receive a second dose of the vaccine. The Pfizer vaccine is not currently approved for reptiles (or any animals,) but given the support for human inoculation regardless of scientific data, zoologists figure injecting thousands of lizards won’t hurt.

At publishing time, veterinarian hospitals were overrun with mildly coughing lizards on ventilators.

https://babylonbee.com/news/zookeepers-scramble-to-vaccinate-all-lizards-after-hearing-pelosi-got-covid

The Stagflation Trap Will Lead To Universal Basic Income And Food Rationing, by Brandon Smith

They really want to shove us all into the miserable world where government makes all of the decisions and allocates all the goods and services. From Brandon Smith at alt-market.com:

This past week during a conference discussing Biden’s “Build Back Better” scheme House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was confronted with questions on skyrocketing inflation. After referring to higher gas prices as the “Putin Tax”, she went on to offer perhaps the dumbest (or most insidious) denial on the causes of inflation that I have ever heard. She stated:

“When we’re having this discussion, it’s important to dispel some of those who say, well it’s the government spending. No, it isn’t. The government spending is doing the exact reverse, reducing the national debt. It is not inflationary.”

Anyone with a basic understanding of economics and how central banks operate must have felt their brains explode when they heard this, I know I did. But before I get into the numerous reasons why this claim is completely false in every way, I want to give a warning – It’s very easy in this situation to assume that Pelosi and even Biden are making these arguments because they are too stupid to grasp the fundamentals of debt creation, money velocity and fiat. That said, never mistake evil for mere ignorance.

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Nancy Pelosi Buys Millions In Call Options In Google, Micron, Roblox, Salesforce And Disney, by Tyler Durden

Throw out all those hoary old maxims about avoiding even the appearance of impropriety. From Tyler Durden at zerohedge.com:

Despite a populist grassroots movement seeking to ban Congress members from trading stocks, one which has attracted bipartisan political support, Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi – arguably one of the most prolific Congressional traders – said two weeks ago that lawmakers should be allowed to make trades while serving.

“We’re a free market economy,” Pelosi told reporters during a news conference. “They should be able to participate in that.”

Pelosi’s statement came days after progressive New Yorker, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, reiterated her support for banning lawmakers from the practice. Ocasio-Cortez and other members of Congress argue that lawmakers have access to information the public is not privy to and the ability to write and pass policy, they should abstain from buying and selling individual stock and other assets. She and other lawmakers support members of Congress investing in index funds.

“I choose not to hold any so I can remain impartial about policy making,” Ocasio-Cortez wrote on Instagram.

Pelosi’s statement also came in the wake of a series of scandals involving federal lawmakers, Fed and government officials making suspect trades throughout the coronavirus pandemic.

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The Appeal of Chaos: How Politicians and Pundits are Misconstruing The Supreme Court’s Order on the Texas Abortion Law, by Jonathan Turley

When it comes to laws and judicial decisions, you’ve always got to read the fine print. From Jonathan Turley at jonathanturley.org:

Below is my column in The Hill on reaction to the refusal of the Supreme Court to enjoin the Texas abortion law. The order of the Court expressly did not reach the merits and certainly did not, as claimed, overturn Roe v. Wade. The Texas law is not even the greatest threat to Roe. Not only is there a pending case on the docket of the Court that has long been viewed as a serious threat to Roe, but the White House and the House of Representatives are threatening immediate actions that could also create new challenges for pro-choice litigants.

Here is the column:

It is often said that “in the midst of chaos, there is opportunity.” Widely attributed to Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu, that saying came to mind when President Biden declared this week that the Supreme Court “unleashed unconstitutional chaos” by declining to enjoin a Texas abortion law. In this self-described chaos, Democratic leaders moved to renew efforts to pack the court with a liberal majority, end the filibuster and federalize abortion laws.

The problem with chaos, however, is that it can be easier to fuel than control. Indeed, Democrats may undermine abortion rights with plans for ill-conceived federal regulations and legislation.

Just before midnight on Wednesday, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 not to grant an emergency injunction of a Texas law allowing citizens to enforce a highly restrictive abortion law. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) promptly declared that the court “overturned” Roe v. Wade, and she demanded immediate action; many media flogged the same narrative that conservative justices killed Roe in a midnight attack.

Both were legally and factually wrong.

The Texas law was enacted in May — but challengers waited until shortly before it was to take effect on Sept. 1 to demand emergency court intervention. It was a gamble that backfired when the court refused to intervene. However, the decision neither upheld Texas’s law nor reversed Roe.

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In Response To Afghanistan Disaster, Pelosi Begins Impeachment Proceedings Against President Trump

From The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has announced Congress will be taking action immediately as the situation in Afghanistan rapidly deteriorates. To hold those responsible for the evacuation debacle, Congress will consider articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump.

“Good morning, Thursday morning,” Pelosi said during a press conference this morning, which was Thursday morning. “We’re facing a dire situation in Afghanistan, and that means we as Congress need to do our duty to hold those responsible accountable for their horrible, horrible actions. That’s why, effective immediately, I’m introducing articles of impeachment against the president. President Donald Trump.”

Pelosi says Trump being impeached a third time won’t actually accomplish anything. But, she says, it will send a clear message to Trump that she doesn’t like him, which is the important thing. “He didn’t get the message the first two times,” she said. “Now the world will know for sure that the orange man truly is bad.”

“The walls are closing in. We got him this time.”

Trump says he welcomes the impeachment as he will be the first president in the history of the world to be acquitted three times. “That’s huge!” he said, addressing his supporters on the few social networks that have not yet banned him. “Sleepy Joe hasn’t even been acquitted once. Sad and pathetic!”

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-response-to-afghanistan-disaster-pelosi-begins-impeachment-proceedings-against-president-trump