MLB Games To No Longer Require ID For Buying Alcoholic Beverages

From The Babylon Bee:

US — Major League Baseball has announced that they will no longer be requiring any form of valid ID for the purchase of alcohol at all games.

“We stand firm against racism and will never again require ID, and unfairly restrict people from purchasing alcohol,” said MLB spokesman Doug Wisacre. “Drinks are for everyone and hydration should always be easier to access, not harder!”

“Not everyone has the same level of access to acquiring an ID and we want to create an inclusive environment.” Mr. Wiseacre continued. “That’s why we will serve beer to all fans, no fuss no muss!”

In addition to not checking for ID, MLB is committing to no longer requiring locker room passes, or security badges which are harmful and unfairly discriminate against those who would want to enter restricted areas for nefarious reasons. They hope that this important step will provide more fairness and increase safety at all games.

At publishing time, MLB was already reconsidering not requiring ID as they are now under investigation for serving alcohol to thousands upon thousands of minors.

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