Tag Archives: IDs

White Liberals Watch In Amazement As Black Man Acquires ID

From The Babylon Bee:

HAMPTON FALLS, IA—White liberals gathered in the town of Hampton Falls were shocked and astonished as local black man, accountant, and father of three Michael Sparkton walked right into a DOT office and acquired an ID without any assistance from liberals whatsoever.

“It was amazing — he was smart, clean, and articulate enough to walk right in and acquire the ID without consulting us white people at all,” said anti-racist activist Chloe Ryder to reporters. “He walked right in and got the ID, no questions asked. We thought it would be way above his intelligence level because, well. You know what I’m saying, right? Yeah. You know.”

Reporters said they did not know, and Ryder was forced to whisper, “because he’s black and I don’t think he’s capable of doing it!”

At publishing time, the liberals were amazed to see he had walked up to a vending machine and purchased a bottle of water all by himself.

https://babylonbee.com/news/white-liberals-watch-in-stunned-amazement-as-black-man-acquires-id

MLB Games To No Longer Require ID For Buying Alcoholic Beverages

From The Babylon Bee:

US — Major League Baseball has announced that they will no longer be requiring any form of valid ID for the purchase of alcohol at all games.

“We stand firm against racism and will never again require ID, and unfairly restrict people from purchasing alcohol,” said MLB spokesman Doug Wisacre. “Drinks are for everyone and hydration should always be easier to access, not harder!”

“Not everyone has the same level of access to acquiring an ID and we want to create an inclusive environment.” Mr. Wiseacre continued. “That’s why we will serve beer to all fans, no fuss no muss!”

In addition to not checking for ID, MLB is committing to no longer requiring locker room passes, or security badges which are harmful and unfairly discriminate against those who would want to enter restricted areas for nefarious reasons. They hope that this important step will provide more fairness and increase safety at all games.

At publishing time, MLB was already reconsidering not requiring ID as they are now under investigation for serving alcohol to thousands upon thousands of minors.