Italexit Prontissimo, by Good Citizen

The head of the EU threatened Italy if the country elected Giorgia Meloni prime minister, and the Italians went ahead and elected her! The threat probably increased the turnout. From Good Citizen at

— Giorgia Meloni

(Newly elected Prime Minister of Italy)

If you should know anything about Italy, know this: never get in the way of Italian pensioners and a 1989 Hitachi Television showing “Calcio”.

That’s Italian for football, which is British for “Soccer” which used to be Americano for “Queer”, but not anymore. The beautiful game is finally getting some love stateside with packed stadiums for its noble attempt at Football called MLS, which sounds like some kind of motor neuron disease. Half the players in the league are certainly suffering from something, the way they play.


Hear that?

That’s the sound of 150 die-hard MLS sportsball fans unsubscribing from this substack. Relax my dudes, I’m just bustin’ your sports balls. I get it. I have friends who…all they live for are Portland Timbers’ games. Actually, this could explain why Oregon ranks #1 out of fifty states for Euthanasia, but seriously, I get it. Don’t retreat.

On Hitachi, apparently, they make vibrators now, but back in the day when they made televisions, I walked in front of one showing a match between Cagliari and Lazio at a cliffside bar in the sleepy Sardinian town of Castelsardo. The pensioners erupted in fury and made all kinds of hand motions in the air. I thought there was a goal but I quickly realized I was the target of their ire at the moment just before a penalty kick was to be taken.

They love their Calcio in Italy. They exist for it.

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