ASSHOLES, by Robert Gore

You first became aware of them when you were in grade school—self-appointed leaders, directors of taste and trend, unchallengeable because their mockery and physical abuse could make life quite uncomfortable—the in-group. As you got older, you discovered there was always an in-group. An in-group runs the country and indeed, the world. Just like grade school, they flaunt their exalted status and make life miserable for outsiders. SLL hereby christens this group: A Special Society of Hubristic Oligarchs and Leaders of Extraordinary Sagacity. For convenience, we’ll refer to both the society and its members by the acronym ASSHOLES.

The caveman who bludgeoned other cave people until they made him king, hailed him as a god, and were forced to let him and his crew run things, and later, the pharaohs, emperors, kings, queens, tzars, kaisers, fuehrers, dear leaders, dictators, etc. who did essentially the same things, are testament that notwithstanding the occasional setback—revolution, coups, foreign conquest—ASSHOLES have dominated and subjugated throughout history. There have been rare and fleeting times when ASSHOLES have left their serfs alone, but anyone who lived during those periods should have counted themselves lucky. The present age is certainly not one of them.

No particular virtue is required for membership in ASSHOLES; many members have been virtually virtueless. One sociopathic character trait is necessary: a neurotic compulsion to tell others what to do and a willingness to use any means available to enforce compliance. An exercise in proctology—studying ASSHOLES—is as distasteful as it sounds, but an examination of their last one hundred years or so is instructive.

Teddy Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, JP Morgan, and John D. Rockefeller, et. al., were the ASSHOLES of their day, and two “innovations” they thought Americans ought to have “for their own good” (a favorite phrase of ASSHOLES), were a central bank and an income tax. Funny money and government theft weren’t really new ideas, but in 1913, America got the Federal Reserve and the income tax. Not to worry, the ASSHOLES assured, “elastic money” would prevent panics and the income tax would only be exacted in almost imperceptible levies on the fattest of the fat cats.

One year later, European ASSHOLES started a glorious little war to further their convoluted geopolitical interests and aspirations. Four years later Europe lay in ruins with 17 million dead and another 20 million wounded. Empires were in tatters and a war-weakened Russian government had succumbed to Bolshevik ASSHOLES. Just to prove that war is the gift that keeps on giving, a war-spread Spanish Influenza pandemic killed another 50 to 100 million people. Just to prove that ASSHOLES’ work is never done, the winners imposed on the losers terms so onerous they almost guaranteed another war.

The Federal Reserve blew up a bubble during the Roaring 20s, which is why it roared. The bubble popped in 1929, ushering in a recession. Hoover, Roosevelt and fellow ASSHOLES believed that what ailed the economy was a lack of government intervention, a “flaw” they “fixed.” Their fix turned the recession into the Great Depression and left a legacy of business regulation, welfare state spending, and ever-rising governmental indebtedness that lasts to this day. Meanwhile, over in Europe, Adolf Hitler, one of history’s biggest ASSHOLES, capitalized on Germany’s Treaty of Versailles misery, rose to power, kindled the Holocaust, and started the next world war.

The US-led alliance won WW II, but the carnage was even greater than WWI, an estimated 50 to 80 million dead. One of the few things that keep ASSHOLES in check is other ASSHOLES, and the US emerged from the war as the world’s preeminent power. American ASSHOLES made two mistakes: they believed their power was unchecked, and that it would last for the foreseeable future. They didn’t foresee the detonation of the Soviet atomic bomb in 1949. Now there were two sets of ASSHOLES who could wipe out the planet, which led to the Cold War. Both sides sold their people on the notion that the other side posed an existential threat. They produced huge amounts of armaments and promoted puppet governments, proxy wars, domestic surveillance and repression, and spy versus spy. The “global struggle against the other side’s hegemony” was the story fed to the serfs, but it was the same old story: ASSHOLES grabbing more power.

A membership requirement for ASSHOLES is monumental incompetence, like “making one’s bones” is necessary to join the Mafia. By the late 1960s, it was clear that the supposed best and brightest had the US in a war in Vietnam it wasn’t going to win. Refusing to raise taxes to fund the unpopular war and an expanding welfare state, first Johnson and then Nixon resorted to currency depreciation. In an act of supreme assholiness, Nixon in 1971 broke the US’s promise to redeem foreign nations’ dollars for gold, the foundation for the post-WWII monetary order. Subsequent emissions of untethered dollars led to double-digit increases in the price indexes, the first in the US since the Civil War, and a global plague of fiat debt backed only by more fiat debt.

Any system that steals from the competent and gives to the incompetent is doomed to failure, but the patently illogical has never stopped ASSHOLES. Proving that Americans had no monopoly on military and economic incompetence, the Soviets got bogged down in Afghanistan and ran their creaky state-controlled economy into the ground. The government finally collapsed in 1991. This left American ASSHOLES without an enemy with which to roust the serfs, but resurgent Islamic ASSHOLES came to the rescue. After 9/11, the serfs practically begged our ASSHOLES to do what they do best: expand their power, arrogate more of the national product, increase the national debt, make war against other ASSHOLES, expand domestic surveillance and repression, and lie about it.

Since then, ASSHOLES have never looked back… and never stopped lying. They’ve careened from disaster to disaster: Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Libya, Ukraine, the housing bubble, the financial crisis, bailouts, crony capitalism and corruption, quantitative easing, Obamacare, the Greek debt crisis, immigration, and the refugee crisis. Remember when ASSHOLES assured us that deficits don’t matter? Six years of anemic growth and the unfolding debt deflation and depression, slated to be history’s largest, are giving the lie to those assurances.

Believe ASSHOLES now like you did when grade-school ASSHOLES told you to give them your lunch money and they’d pay you back tomorrow. Their latest ploys are trade agreements and global warming. The title of SLL’s article on the trade agreements conveys its skepticism: “Trust Me, Charlie Brown,” and anthropogenic global warming (AGW) evokes more of the same. The definitely unsettled science is reflected in the morphing of “global warming” into “climate change” or “climate variability,” as the climate refuses to conform to the predictions of the computer models. However, the larger point is that even if the AGW hypothesis is spot on, decades of ASSHOLES‘ lies, arrogance, and incompetence have obliterated whatever goodwill and trust they once enjoyed. They’re the little boy crying wolf and asking for trillions of dollars, supranational organizations, extensive, unaccountable powers (wielded for the good of all, of course), and a reordering of global economics and politics.

They feign astonishment that anyone could doubt their science or good intentions, dismissing it as ignorant populism. However, that won’t-get-fooled-again populism is staging an upside breakout all over the world as people rediscover an ancient truth. The only effective strategy for dealing with ASSHOLES is the BIRD: Boldly Intransigent Resistance and Defiance. There are far more of us than there are of them.


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15 responses to “ASSHOLES, by Robert Gore

  1. Pingback: He Said That? 11/12/15 | STRAIGHT LINE LOGIC

  2. 99% of such ‘A Special Society of Hubristic Oligarchs and Leaders of Extraordinary Sagacity’ discourse in the modern world issues from the Left. You should explore why the Left is so susceptible to this kind of derangement instead of pretending it’s a bipartisan thing, which it clearly isn’t.


    • The last Republican president gave us two wars, a prescription drug “benefit,” Wall Street financial bailouts, and a massive expansion of domestic and military spending and the largest increase in the nation’s debt until Obama. That looks like major assholiness to me.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Both Parties have these oligarchs. That is why you are seeing so much Establishment GOP Pushback (and sabotage) against non-establishment approved candidates. The Oligarchs in the eGOP are merely bought and paid for extension of the Democrat party. Their role is to absorb the anger and angst the Democrats cause the American people. They get elected and hold the status-quo till the Democrats can get back in and push more of their agenda – like a ratchet. And the Democrats always get back in because the eGOP deliberately governs badly ( earning the name “stupid party”) and refuses to fight for the people who elected them. So yes, the Oligarchy is bi-partisan in the sense that both established political parties support the same agenda – just in different ways. You shouldn’t confuse actual people with the party they (nominally )support. I personally have never voted for a Republican- just against the Democrat with the pubbie the lesser of two evils. . Douglas Adams once said that no one who wanted to lead should under any circumstances ever be allowed to do so.- and every politician is a sociopath that wants to lead. People on the right don’t want to – we aren’t sociopaths. So you get the eGOP. ( John Adams once told John Quincy he must run for office – because he knew the sort who would get in if he didn’t) People who pretend to support our cause but who really just want power- just like the democrats – and found a niche they can exploit to get it.

      The constituents of these parties are, as you suggest, vastly different. The leftist base desperately wants to be “popular” – and part of the in-crowd – so they support the agenda and act as they are told. There really isn’t much there to “explore”. They don’t think. They don’t have opinions. They can’t explain why they believe what they believe because they never argued themselves into their positions. They follow and they bleat what the oligarchs say because they want to be perceived by others as being virtuous or enlightened – worthy of joining the Oligarch class. Its all about getting a feel good ego stroke -” If I drink this type of coffee I am saving the planet!” They are the same hangers on you saw in high school copying the styles and speech of the “cool kids” and really have not emotionally matured past that point.. Most in fact haven’t grown up since Kindergarten. That is why they demand everyone gets a cookie ( even if they did nothing to earn it) and why they are demanding “safe spaces” without adult thoughts or responsibilities. It really is as simple as that. There is nothing more to see. They want their egos stroked, and the approval of others – however meaningless, and so its all just a giant circle jerk of sorts. They are all wanna-be tyrants. All of them want to tell others what to do. All of them want to be lord of the flies. They are all – at heart- grade school bullies who deal with their own lack of talent or merit by inventing their own imaginary worlds in which they are the great and wonderful – and if they just believe hard enough – will bring the faeries back to life.

      Those of us on the right, of course, still believe in personal responsibility, hard work, the constraints of reality, and the principles of America’s founding and are, for the most part, BIRDs – grownups who don’t want the state to act as our parent (or owner)- Obama called us the Bitter Clingers for a reason – bitterly clinging to the idea that we are free men and not the communal property of a State, and that there is such a thing as objective truth ( no you are not a woman if you feel like a woman. You are mentally ill)

      But all of tis has happened before and all of it will happen again. Prepare accordingly.

      “Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.

      This is known as “bad luck.”

      ― Robert A. Heinlein


  3. Bravo sir!

    This is an instant classic worthy of being spread far and wide.

    I’ll be pointing my readers this way ASAP!

    My thanks to WRSA for the link.


  4. Genius essay, Robert!


  5. Fantastic. You’ve clearly discovered your inner Fred Reed.


  6. “Incompetence” seems like the right word only if they are using the same playbook… It seems they are quite competent at growing the state and reducing our practiced Liberty — a playbook with the opposite plays than the ones we have.


  7. ASSHOLES kind of rolls off the tongue.
    I like it.
    Now that Mr. Gore is what you call Straight Line Logic.
    I’m sharing this fine and nobel idea with everyone I know.


  8. I do remember the Assholes in school and this bunch is just like them . Can we top a billion dead ? Oh I certainly think so.


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