American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God, by Larry L. Bean

Secession is not just a Southern thing anymore. From Larry L. Bean at

The old saying: “American by birth, Southern by the grace of God” certainly applies to me.

I’m an ethnic Southerner who was raised in the north – but who, for the past 25 years (with the exception of my three year educational exile to the permafrost of Fort Wayne, Indiana) has lived in the Deep South.  In fact, for the past 17 years, I have lived so far in the Deep South that it is really barely Southern at all – being south of the South.  But we were graciously permitted membership in the Confederacy, given the tolerance and ethnic diversity of that particular manifestation of American federalism.  Moreover, only two other states suffered as long as we did in the so-called Reconstruction as did Louisiana.  So we – my state and my person – have earned the bona fides to consider what it means to be Southern, though perhaps by means of a circuitous route.

So permit me to ponder – while pondering is still permitted in our Reunited States.

The South is an embarrassment to many in the various other regions of America as it is constituted today. We are especially anathema to our Betters on the coasts.

Indeed, we talk funny. We’re slow and dumb and backwards and conservative. We cling to our Bibles and guns. We got Donald Trump elected. That alone should make our separated brethren in the Disunted States to want to retroactively secede us. Typically, our kids say “sir” and “ma’am” and, shockingly, we treat men and women differently, and hold comically to the long-since discredited fantasy that only women bear children. We still put flags and flowers on our ancestral graves – especially those of our our veterans – which is apparently why some folks come South for the winter in their black socks and sandals, wagging their heads, and honking nasally and incredulously: “Look Martha, these people are still fighting the civil war.”

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