The Gasoline Can as a Model of America’s Decline, by Freed Radical

America was once a simpler and better place. From Freed Radical at theburningplatform.com:

As a person of white privilege (but who says I’m white?), I engage in certain white-oriented activities around the house (which house I own outright as an act of explicit racism). One of those activities is mowing the grass. You may be thinking, “lawn,” but my lawn contains too many weeds to be considered a proper lawn. In that one area I fall down as a white privileged suburbanite. But I do identify as a lawn owner, and that’s what counts.

Anyway, I use a CO2 belching lawn mower that runs on polluting and global warming racist gasoline. I fill my lawn mower with gasoline from what you and I call a gas can. Now I’ve been using gas cans since I was a kid, and my father (possession of which is another indicator of racist white privilege) paid me hard cash to mow the grass, or Coup de grâce, as he humorously put it. We had a gas can like this one:

(image credit: ebay.com via duckduckgo.com)

It also had a little screw on cap for the end of the goose neck tube. There was a paper washer in the cap to prevent gas from spilling or evaporating. If I remember correctly (cue Jeopardy thinking music), our house never burned down and we were never asphyxiated from gasoline fumes, though it is entirely possible some low level exposure turned me into the white privileged racist that I am. Lacking the possibility of a proper randomized double blind study, like they do in all vaccine testing, we may never know.

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