A Whole New World, by Nickelthrower

This article is almost guaranteed to turn your stomach. From Nickelthrower at theburningplatform.com:

A whole new world (a whole new world)
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us, “No”
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaming
A whole new world (every turn, a surprise)
With new horizons to pursue (every moment, red-letter)
I’ll chase them anywhere, there’s time to spare
And then we’re home (there’s time to spare)
Let me share this whole new world with you


I arrived just in time for the rehearsal dinner after a 5 1/2 hour drive through the worst that the Rust Belt had to offer. It isn’t a drive that I like to take but my 44-year-old cousin, an unemployed guy with 3 DUI’s that still lives with my uncle, was marrying a much younger attractive woman and I wanted to see it for myself. Besides, their photographer had canceled at the very last minute and I have a professional-grade camera and some lights and shooting a wedding isn’t that difficult, so I agreed to photograph their wedding. It would be my gift to them.

When I met the wedding party, something was not right. The woman presented to me as the bride was a middle-aged African American lady with several moles on her face and each mole had a single coarse grey hair emanating from its center. I found this to be rather odd because the images I had seen of her were of a white-as-a-ghost, smooth-skinned, young, attractive woman. How could this be?

“She uses Filters, silly.” said my daughter. By the way, my daughter will always end a sentence with “silly” if she believes that she is addressing me as if I were Rip Van Winkle and I just awoke having gone to sleep before the Internet was invented. “Everybody uses them” she said, “it makes you look better.”

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