Tag Archives: Peaceful protests

Nation Braces For Most Peaceful Protests Yet

From The Babylon Bee:

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—As the Derek Chauvin trial continued this week, the nation began bracing for the most peaceful protests so far. 

“We’re getting ready for some really peaceful protests,” said one business owner as he boarded up his storefront. “We ain’t seen nothin’ yet when it comes to just how peaceful Black Lives Matter can be.”

While last summer, BLM unleashed their mostly peaceful brand of protests, they said at the end of this trial, they will be unleashing their most powerful weapon: entirely peaceful protests, involving even more peaceful bricks, Molotovs, and more peaceful deaths.

Black Lives Matter representatives announced that that they will definitely be rioting if Derek Chauvin is acquitted. They also said they would riot if he is convicted. Additionally, they said they would just be rioting no matter what so everyone should get ready.

“We will riot if Chauvin is acquitted,” said one spokesperson for the movement gathered outside the courthouse in Minneapolis. “And also, you know, if he’s convicted. Yep, we’ll still be rioting then. In fact, we’ll be rioting no matter what happens, so buckle up, America. You thought last summer was bad? Get ready for peace.”

https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-braces-for-most-peaceful-protests-yet

‘Peaceful Riots’? Journalism Bows to the Woke Mob, by Mark Hemingway

“Peaceful” protests have featured peaceful vandalism, peaceful arson, peaceful property destruction, and peaceful violence. From Mark Hemingway at realclearpolitics.com:

Just a few weeks ago the idea of “peaceful riots” would have seemed absurd, but the American media is nothing if not inventive these days. Earlier this week, ABC News reported, “Protesters in California set fire to a courthouse, damaged a police station and assaulted officers after a peaceful demonstration intensified.” Legal scholar Eugene Volokh wonders how this terminology would work in the real world: “You are being charged with an intensified peaceful demonstration, in the second degree. How do you plead?”

Indeed, the media’s commitment to tempering their descriptions of violent riots sweeping the nation as “mostly peaceful” is relentless – that particular phrase has become a media cliché practically overnight. Of course, America’s police officers could also be accurately described as “mostly peaceful,” but any journalist who dared to give cops the same generous benefit of the doubt would likely cause a riot in their own newsroom.

That’s why it was almost shocking to read an Associated Press report earlier this week from reporter Mike Balsamo, who embedded with federal law enforcement protecting the Mark O. Hatfield courthouse in downtown Portland.

“I watched as injured officers were hauled inside. In one case, the commercial firework came over so fast the officer didn’t have time to respond. It burned through his sleeves and he had bloody gashes on both forearms. Another had a concussion from being hit in the head with a mortar,” Balsamo reported. “The lights inside the courthouse have to be turned off for safety and the light from high-powered lasers bounced across the lobby almost all night. The fear is palpable. Three officers were struck in the last few weeks and still haven’t regained their vision.”

 

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Orcs March On Minas Tirith In Mostly Peaceful Protest

From The Babylon Bee:

MINAS TIRITH—Orcs marched on Minas Tirith this morning in a mostly peaceful protest.

The rioters marched for peace, justice, and love in a calm, peaceful, orderly gathering outside the city walls. The mostly peaceful protesters launched peaceful siege projectiles at the city and sent Nazguls to maul Gondorian soldiers in a demonstration of their love and tolerance.

“Everything is very calm, very peaceful here,” said a reporter from Gondor News Network. “It’s very tranquil.” Just then, an Oliphaunt charged right at him and flattened him intolembas bread.

Gondor’s government was criticized for “police brutality” when, after a long period of inaction, Rohan’s armies finally charged in to break things up.

“We were just peacefully protesting — Gondor had no right to peacefully protest back,” said one Orc. “Two of their agents were even having a contest to see how many of us they could kill — and they were killing the majestic, endangered Oliphaunts! I’m literally shaking right now.”

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