CHAOS A.D., by Nickelthrower

Why Johnny and Jennifer can’t think. An excellent essay from Nickelthrower at

 “When one door closes another opens.” Alexander Graham Bell

One day back when I wore a younger man’s skin, I found a door in front of me and when I opened that door to have a peek at my new life what greeted me was something that I still struggle to put into words. First was the sound – it was deafening with a mixture of shouts, screams, and somewhere, in the distance, a man howling into a bullhorn. I barely had time to register the noise when my gaze fell upon several morbidly obese women making their way down a hallway dressed as African princesses out of a bad 1970s Blaxploitation movie.  Did Dolemite dress these women?  Are they filming a new Shaft movie here today?

I saw a sign pointing in the direction of the administrative office, so I turned left into another hallway where the walls on either side of me were adorned in framed posters highlighting the achievements of Africans.  Say, did you know that Africans discovered electricity, invented the internal combustion engine, invented the telephone, built all Seven Wonders, invented modern medicine, and invented the airplane?  I certainly didn’t.

I barely had time to reflect on the amazing achievements of Africans before I passed an open door to what appeared to be a library.  It looked like a library as it had shelves full of books but the children inside were carrying on as if the room were not a library but where they held recess.  The floor was covered in trash and I could see that children were climbing up and down the shelves holding the books as if it were the rock climbing wall at the local mall.  This can not be real.  This has to be an elaborate joke.

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