Tag Archives: Joe Biden

Will the Midterms Change Anything? By Ron Paul

You can be sure Ron Paul knows the answer: no they will not. From Ron Paul at ronpaulinstitute.org:

Many experts expect public anger over inflation to enable Republicans to regain a majority in the US House of Representatives and maybe the Senate in next week’s midterm elections. However, even if every close Senate race broke in Republicans’ favor, and the new Republican majority was determined to pass a pro-liberty agenda, there still would not be the votes to override President Biden’s vetoes, or Chuck Schumer’s filibusters. Pro-liberty legislation cutting spending, or protecting our First, Second, and Fifth Amendment rights, or shutting down the Department of Education, or auditing the Federal Reserve, would not become law.

The fact that such pro-liberty legislation would not become law is a reason many Republican Congress members feel comfortable cosponsoring and voting for such bills. One of the dirty secrets of American politics is that the establishment of both parties supports the corporatist welfare-warfare state and the fiat money system that makes it all possible. While they quibble over the details, the only real disagreement between the two parties is over which one is better able to run the economy, run the world, and run our personal lives.

One hoped-for benefit of having Congress in Republican hands is that the Republican desire to deny President Biden any major legislative victories going into the 2024 election means the American people will be safe from more big spending legislation like the misnamed Inflation Reduction Act that will lead to more inflation. It is also hoped that our liberty and prosperity will be safe from attempts to expand government’s role in healthcare and implement the Green New Deal.

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Biden Launches #VaxUpAmerica Tour, as Latest Research Shows New Boosters No Better Than Old Against New Variants, by Suzanne Burdick, Ph.D.

It figures that demented Joe wants to subject your children to a jab of poison for a disease that has almost zero chance of harming them. From Suzanne Burdick, Ph.D., at childrenshealthdefense.org:

President Biden today urged “all Americans” to get an updated COVID-19 vaccine and pleaded with Congress to continue funding the vaccines and COVID-19 treatments. Meanwhile, the authors of a new study released Monday found the new bivalent boosters were no better than the old boosters at protecting against the latest Omicron variants.

Flanked by Dr. Anthony Fauci, other top U.S. public health officials and the CEOs of major pharmacy chains including CVS, Rite-Aid and Walgreens, President Biden today urged “all Americans” to get an updated COVID-19 vaccine and pleaded with Congress to continue funding the vaccines and COVID-19 treatments, such as Pfizer’s Paxlovid.

“If you’re fully vaccinated, get one more COVID shot — once a year, that’s it,” Biden said, likening it to an annual flu shot. “If you get it you’re protected, and if you don’t, you’re putting yourself and other people at unnecessary risk,” he said.

Biden, who last month declared the “pandemic is over,” also urged people to get their kids the flu shot and the COVID-19 shot, stating “you can get them at the same time.”

Biden ended his speech by getting the COVID-19 booster shot live on camera.

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After Seeing The Jump In Trump’s Poll Numbers, Biden Orders FBI To Raid His House Too

From The Babylon Bee:

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources close to the Biden Administration, President Biden responded to seeing Trump’s jump in poll numbers by ordering the FBI to raid his house too.

These orders come at a time when Biden’s approval rating has reached record lows, due to 20 consecutive months of unfortunate disasters that allegedly had nothing to do with Biden or his policies, but were the fault of everyone else, especially Trump.

“Hey, FBI guys, I could use some of those higher poll numbers,” wrote President Biden on a piece of paper before shoving it under the basement door in hopes that one of his handlers on the outside would deliver it to an FBI guy. “P.S., I could use another diaper change right about now.”

At publishing time, Biden had instructed — via letters shoved under the door — that groundskeepers plant a few palm trees in the Rose Garden and that everyone call The White House by its new name, Mar-a-Lago, D.C.


Biden: ‘We Are In A Pandemic Of The Quadruple Vaccinated’

From The Babylon Bee:

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brief address to the nation after once again testing positive for COVID, President Biden warned that we are now in a pandemic of the “quadruple vaccinated.”

“Four shots, it’s not enough anymore,” said Biden. “You need at least five to five hundred thousand thousand thirty-two, um, um, five thousand, blirteen sixty shots. Science told me. Not a joke! At this point, if you haven’t gotten the vaccine at least 5 times you’re denying the science. Come on!”

The president is calling on all citizens to get quintuple-vaccinated before he catches COVID a third time.

The White House Communications Team backed up Biden’s statement, saying: “The President has been very clear from the very beginning of the pandemic and has never once wavered in his opinion in the slightest, and it is a very clear opinion because the President is always clear and in his right mind and he definitely doesn’t have severe dementia. If you don’t get jabbed at least 5 times you’re killing people with COVID. This shouldn’t be hard. The science is clear.”

At publishing time, Krispy Kreme announced they will entice people into getting quintuple vaxxed by offering two free doughnuts this time.


‘You Can’t Be Pro-Insurrection And Pro-American,’ Says President Of Nation Founded By An Insurrection

From The Babylon Bee:

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The president shot back at what he called “Super Duper Ultra MAGA Turbo Titans” Monday as he claimed “you can’t be pro-insurrection and pro-American” despite being the commander in chief of a nation founded by an insurrection.

“Can you imagine Thomas Jefferson calling for the blood of tyrants? What if John Adams refused to pledge fealty to King George? England would’ve nuked us to oblivion. It would’ve been total malarkey anarchy!” said the unblinking Biden, unflinching in the face of a citizenry increasingly questioning whether he is fit to be president.

“Look, here’s the deal, these Capitol insurrectioneserutes are traitors to American ideals because they wanted to challenge the results of an election,” Biden confirmed. “I know this for a fact because a traitor is everyone who does not agree with me.”

“We saw what happened,” he continued, referring to the events of January 6. “Law enforcement agencies were speared with terrorist javelins dripping in blood, surrounded by carnage.”

“These are all things that actually happened that I am not making up,” he added.

At publishing time, White House officials had advised the president to stop saying “we saw what happened” in regards to the January 6 capitol riots because he keeps describing events that never took place.


Biden Places ‘I Did That’ Sticker On Gas Pump After Price Drops Two Cents

From The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON,D.C. — After months of saying that he has no control over the price of gas, President Joe Biden is taking credit as prices dip by 2 cents. To highlight this monumental achievement, Biden has been placing “I did that!” stickers on gas pumps everywhere he goes.

“Look folks, this is 2 cents we’re talking about here. You think this kinda thing happens on its own? Malarkey! Read the stickers. I did that!” said Biden at a White House Press conference. “And remember Putin makes prices go up. Biden makes prices go down!”

Biden continued explaining that to achieve this, all he had to do was empty out our entire military’s fuel supply. He assured Americans that our military didn’t really need it anyway.

At publishing time more Biden “I did that!” stickers were found but they were spotted instead on high food prices, empty shelves, lines of unvaccinated troops being discharged, and the overrun southern border.


Biden Calls On The Economy To Stop Being Bad

From The Babylon Bee:

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move this morning to address the nation’s financial woes, President Biden has officially called on the American economy to stop being bad.

“Come on, economy!” said an impassioned President Biden. “Make everything cheaper! Give everyone more money! I hereby demand you stop being atrocious! Do it. Do it now!”

Pundits immediately lauded President Biden’s brilliant plan, with MSNBC heralding it as the most transformative economic initiative since the New Deal. “Biden simply asking the economy to be better is nothing short of genius,” said Rachel Maddow. “Economists are out there playing checkers, and Joe Biden is here playing chess, what with his clarion call to give everyone more money and make everything cheaper. Why has no one thought of this before?”

President Biden also took the opportunity to speak directly to the struggling stock market. “I know people who used to have money in their retirement accounts are frustrated — which is why today I am also calling on the stock market to go up. Just do it, ok? Just make the numbers bigger! Repeat line, end of speech!”

At publishing time, sources say inflation is still skyrocketing, a recession has begun, the stock market is still crashing, and it’s all Putin’s fault.


New York Times to Biden — Time to Go! By Pat Buchanan

When the liberals’ bible says it’s time for Biden to go, he might as well book his retirement flight on Air Force One and start soliciting donations for the Joe Biden Presidential Library. From Pat Buchanan at buchanan.org:

When President Joe Biden retired in Rehoboth Beach on Saturday night, he likely did not expect to find a severed horse’s head under his bed covers.

But there it was, courtesy of The New York Times.

“At 79, Biden is Testing the Boundaries of Age and the Presidency” ran the headline over Sunday’s devastating front-page story.

Message: Time’s up, Joe. Time to go. Second term is out.

Biden officials and White House aides acknowledge, the story ran, that, “Mr. Biden looks older than just a few years ago … His energy level … is not what it was, and some aides quietly watch out for him. He often shuffles when he walks, and aides worry he will trip on a wire. He stumbles over words during public events, and they hold their breath to see if he makes it to the end without a gaffe.”

On and on it went, the Times tale of Biden’s cognitive decline:

“Mr. Biden’s … speeches can be flat and listless. He sometimes loses his train of thought, has trouble summoning names or appears momentarily confused. More than once, he has promoted Vice President Kamala Harris, calling her ‘President Harris.’ Mr. Biden, who overcame a childhood stutter, stumbles over words like ‘kleptocracy.’ He has said Iranian when he meant Ukrainian and several times called Senator Mark Warner, Democrat of Virginia, ‘John,’ confusing him with the late Republican senator of that name from Virginia …

“The White House has had to walk back some of his ad-libbed comments, such as when he vowed a military response if China attacks Taiwan or declared that President Vladimir V. Putin ‘cannot remain in power’ in Russia.”

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Biden Calls On Pollsters To Raise His Approval Rating

From The Babylon Bee:

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a passionate speech in which he begged gas stations across the country to lower gas prices, Biden ended with a plea to pollsters, asking them to raise his approval rating.

“Come on, man! 33 percent? You pollsters can do better than that!” said an increasingly frustrated Biden. “What are you all doing all day anyway? Just standin’ around? Find me some more numbers! You don’t want me coming over there. I’ll mess you up! Furblenibbits! Branfredischzsazure!”

Officials from Gallup, Newsweek, and Real Clear Politics all confirmed they are working as hard as they can and hope to pump Biden’s numbers a few points soon.

In his speech, Biden also demanded Ukraine lower its war casualty numbers, the banks lower inflation numbers, and his aides increase the amount of cinnamon in his applesauce.

At publishing time, Gallup came through, showing a 2% increase in Biden’s approval rating by polling only Gallup employees.


Commentary: Like His Hero, FDR, Joe Biden Shambles His Way Through History, Leaving the World to Wonder Who is Captaining this Ship of State, by J. Michael Waller

For a couple of years before he died, Franklin Delano Roosevelt suffered from dementia and senility. Of course anyone who knows the real history of the New Deal knows his entire administration was brain dead, long before FDR himself was at death’s door. The parallels with the Biden administration are obvious. By the way, the two best ways to get yourself considered one of the greatest presidents in history is to expand the size and power of the federal government and get the country involved in a war. FDR was a two-fer, and it’s a reasonable bet that Biden will be, too. In which case liberal historians (but I repeat myself) will say he had greatness thrust upon him, because he certainly had zero beforehand. From J. Michael Waller at tennesseestar.com:

The distant eyes and slack mouth, the befuddled shuffle off the walkway, recurrent unexplained schedule gaps and public disappearances, and off-the-wall comments finally make Joe Biden a pale copy of his hero, Franklin D. Roosevelt.

In wrapping up a war and realigning the world order, the first eight months of Biden as president resemble the last years of Roosevelt – except that FDR was on the cusp of victory against an avowed enemy.

The medical condition of an American president can affect the entire nation and the world for generations. Now, as then, one wonders who is really in charge of what.

FDR appeased Stalin on practically every major point leading up to the notorious Big Three Yalta summit with British Prime Minister Winston Churchill in 1945.

Biden has surpassed Roosevelt by simultaneously accommodating Vladimir Putin’s Russia, Communist China, state sponsors of terrorism like Qatar and Iran, and the global jihadist movement – in ways that will change the world for generations.

For the moment let’s not look at the actual policies, but at the conditions of the presidents themselves. Roosevelt at Yalta purposefully excluded wise visionaries like Loy Henderson and George Kennan in favor of others. As Afghanistan shows, Biden has not surrounded himself with the best and brightest.

Roosevelt had shown a certain softness toward Stalin since 1933, when he became president and recognized the Soviet Union. He rejected top diplomats’ advice that, among other things, a quid pro quo be attached to prevent the Kremlin from interfering in American internal affairs.

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