From The Babylon Bee:
BURBANK, CA—With Lightyear and its cartoon lesbian romance flopping at the box office, sources say Disney has decided to quietly pull the plug on its upcoming movie Brokeback Woody.
“Little Bo Peep was about to find out what Woody and Pete the Prospector were really up to when they were off with the ‘Roundup Gang’,” said actor Chris Evans. “Such a shame. One day all the backward bigoted dinosaurs in America will die off, and our country will finally be ready for kids’ cartoons with gratuitous gay toy-cowboy sex.”
Disney had planned to roll out Brokeback Woody in early 2023, followed later that year by Cars 4: Lightning McDragQueen. “It’s definitely a setback,” said director Angus MacLane. “We already had new Woody toys in production with a whole new set of phrases he says when you pull his string. There was ‘Howdy, life partner!’ and also ‘Giddy up, queen!'”
Tom Hanks voiced deep disappointment in the cancellation, believing his role as “gay Woody” could have had him in line for another Oscar. “It’s really a shame how Lightyear mysteriously bombed after firing the lead voice actor for his political beliefs and adding a sexual agenda for kids,” said Mr. Hanks. “Luckily for me, I can always fall back on narrating videos about how incredible the Biden administration is doing.”
At publishing time, Disney announced they would be replacing the Brokeback Woody project with a more subtle Mx. Potato Head.
It’s hard to see much symbiosis between a Russia returning to its Russian Orthodox roots and Disney, increasingly devoted to the brand of religion known as wokeism. From Robert Bridge at strategic-culture.org:
Russia now finds itself at a moment where it can forever shut the door to a rudderless company that finds itself promoting ideas that are totally at odds with Russian values and beliefs.
Although the news may seem a bit trivial, with war and economic chaos flaring in the background of the global stage, Disney leaving Russia will have the same mental and physical benefits as McDonald’s and Pornhub saying their goodbyes to Europe’s largest consumer market.
One of the results of Moscow’s military operation in Ukraine has been a number of Western companies abandoning Russia, some temporarily, some for good. This odious display of corporate virtue-signaling, conspicuously absent during the U.S.-led wars in Iraq, Libya and Syria, by the way, represents a setback not only for Russia, but the global economy. However, there is at least one silver lining to the ‘walk-out’ that should be celebrated, and that is how Russians will get a reprieve, maybe a permanent one, from the degenerate brain candy of Western entertainment, notably from the Disney Corporation. Disney’s preponderant footprint in Russia includes local productions and television channels, the licensing of content and consumer products, cruises, magazine and tours, among other business.
From The Babylon Bee:
ANAHEIM, CA—A local man who narrowly escaped a hopelessly depraved Disneyland with his children has told investigators his wife turned into a “pillar of salt” when she looked back as they were fleeing.
“She didn’t even make it out of the park,” said distraught 37-year-old father Tim Lott. “She took one last look at the castle and—” He broke down, unable to further explain to authorities what had happened to his wife.
According to witnesses, the surviving family members made their way to Downtown Disney, where they caught a tram to the parking structure as fire and brimstone reigned down all around. They finally escaped after locating their vehicle on level Goofy.
“We were frantic,” said Sonya Lott, age 16. “Mom just turned into a weird salt statue! We could barely remember where we parked!”
“Dad wouldn’t let me buy a mouse ears hat either,” said Cassie, age 12. “He’s so lame!”
According to sources, Lott is now the lead suspect in a missing person case as authorities refuse to believe the mysterious pillar of salt in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle is actually his wife.
At publishing time, Tim Lott had also turned into a pillar of salt after resubscribing to Disney+.
Posted in Humor
It’s no surprise that Disney has gone full “woke,” critical race theory and all. It is in Hollywood (well, Burbank) and its employees are predominately liberal Democrats. From Andrea Widburg at americanthinker.com:
Going back to the late 1920s, every single child raised in America has intersected in some way with products from Walt Disney: we’ve watched the movies and TV shows, sung the songs, worn the clothes, and visited the theme parks. Through it all, Disney stood for wholesome family entertainment. That is no longer the case. Disney is a hardcore leftists corporation that is pushing its politics on children and training its employees to be white-hating racists or self-loathing white people. It’s time to give up Disney.
During Walt Disney’s tenure, his company also generated propaganda. Behind all the wonderful entertainment, the company was pushing several themes: heterosexual love is real, the nuclear family matters, American patriotism is important, and God is a beneficent presence in our lives.
Many parents and grandparents buying Disney videos for their children or taking family trips to the theme parks operate under the mistaken impression that this is still the case. They’re half right. Disney is still generating propaganda, but it’s about race and sex in ways many parents may not support.
Just the other day, we learned that Disney’s Pixar is planning to introduce a so-called “transgender” girl character for its next Toy Story movie. That means it is going to have a boy who thinks he’s a girl as a character in a movie aimed at little children. Disney’s also focused on gay characters in Onward and Out.
It wouldn’t be at all surprising if some mainstream media potentates were involved with Jeffrey Epstein and his nefarious activities. From rt.com:
ABC and other mainstream media outlets refused to cover accusations against sex predator Jeffrey Epstein because “a network of people” that includes their executives were implicated, James O’Keefe of Project Veritas told RT.
The Disney-owned network has doubled down on its insistence that anchor Amy Robach’s story on Epstein three years ago lacked “enough corroboration” and thus wasn’t aired. This was after Project Veritas released a “hot mic” video of Robach slamming the decision to quash the story.
The conservative filmmaker told RT on Tuesday that he believes ABC’s refusal to budge from that explanation backs up Robach’s claim that “a network of people” – including the executives running her channel – are “covering up for this” because they are somehow “implicated.”